Pfb having a hard time adjusting...(6 Posts)
DC2 is due next month. I have a DS who will be six in July.
DS has been having an awful time of it lately! He seems excited about the baby (but has said things like "I'm worried I'll have a lot of jobs!") so I'm not sure if it's the impending arrival or something else.
He's been really, really argumentative lately. Constant back talk, always grumpy, corrects me or DH on pointless things, etc. He's also gotten very jealous when I say/do nice things for DH and says things like "you love Dad the most!" He's even gotten bad when we have company over, whereas he used to be "perfect" in front of other people. He's been really disobedient lately too.
I've also been really ill this pregnancy and sleep a lot, so we haven't done as much together as usual.
He is also starting full time school in the fall and I know it's weighing on his mind a bit.
I'm not sure what to do...I've tried pulling him up on his behavior but it feels like I'm scolding him constantly. I've also tried cutting him some slack and going out of my way to give lots of hugs and praise but it seems to make the behavior worse.
I don't know if maybe it will just take time, and once the baby is born and he adjusts he'll be okay? I just hate to see him seem so unhappy, and tbh I am completely stressed from his behavior. I just want my sunny boy back!
There are a lot if changes going on in his life, added to the fact that you haven't been 100 % fit, but part of it is just normal 6 yr old stuff testing the boundaries.
He can probably tell from your body language that you feel unsure and are not totally in control. I would just have 'business as usual'- yes he will have a sibling but he won't be loaded with 'jobs' and yes he will be going to school - that is what children do.Make calm observations that you have more than enough love to go around everyone- you are not going to run out! There is no reason to be 'perfect' - we would all find it a struggle.
I would get him out and about and have friends over, especially one he will be going to school with, as much as possible.
Be calm and matter of fact- make him feel secure so that he can face the changes.
Thanks Exotic. . That sounds like a good idea. I did tell him of course he won't have a lot of jobs,etc,and we've spoken about how much the baby will look up to and like him, which he does seems excited about.
He's very introspective, so I know it's all weighing on his mind a lot. I'm sure he will love school once he begins (he's really social and loves learning new things), also the class we hope to get him into is mixed year so will have some friends in the same room but a year above, which will help. And he's pretty active (football, tae kwon do, etc) so I'm sure he will know at least a few kids, no matter what room he ends up in.
I think I'll have to push through a bit better than I have too...I've only got five weeks or so before the baby comes and it would be nice to do some "just us" things even though I'm feeling ill.
Morning CY , like Exotic says act calm even though you may be raging. Also, consistency is key. Don't let him get away with bad behaviour that you'd normally pull him up on.
He sounds like my ds was at this stage, very unsure of his place and scared in case he wasn't going to be loved any more. No amount of reassurance seemed to work and we just had to wait and introduce him to dc2 at the earliest opportunity. He was fine once he saw he wasn't being replaced as the centre of our world. He loves his sisters more than anything and would cheerfully swing for anyone who dared hurt or threaten them, so there is hope.
I'm sure that NicholasTeakozy is right- the unknown is scary, especially when you are only 6yrs. That is why you need to stay calm and keep things the same, as much as possible at the moment. I'm sure it will be better once the baby is here and he has started school, you can deal with what you know much better than the 'what ifs'.
Good to know your DS came out of it well! I think it's just going to be a bit rough til DC2 comes and he sees it's all okay.
I will try to be more consistent...he does like a decent schedule, always has since he was a tiny baby. And things have been off since I've been ill, so that certainly isn't helping.
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