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Disliking another child

(5 Posts)
HappyJoyful Thu 18-Apr-13 16:46:36

I posted recently about phobia's my 2.4yr old dd had and was comforted to find she wasn't alone in having them (must add discovered list now include - an iron?! I must admit rarely used in our house and a man dressed as a monkey --can see that is freaky--)

However, I found it a bit upsetting when she also took an almost instant 'dislike' (almost some sort of phobia) to another child. The said child is younger (19 months) and was a bit of a 'snatcher' when it came to toys.

DD wouldn't let her go near anything and almost physically pushed her away if she so much as brushed against her, she would put her hand up to stop her and it was evident she was not going to share a single thing with her everything the little girl touched was 'mine' 'mine' or 'x take my y' or 'NO, it's w's'. She's very loving, kisses and cuddles all her little friends but wouldn't so much as let x get near her.

She hasn't stopped saying things like 'me not like x' or 'x take my bag' yetl happily talk about how she loves others we were with but just completely pouts in horror and stomps when I've tried casually mentioning and x too.

I've never seen her behave like this and it was getting quite embarrassing. She adores babies and other friends younger children, I've mentioned it to our CM to see if she's ever seen this sort of almost violent dislike from her and she hadn't.

I can only assume and hope it's just a phase and sort of 'me big girl, x little' thing going on as she has expressed that - but any stories and advice on if there is anything I can to do encourage her to 'like' someone or at least not behave in such a viably disliking manner welcome!

ellesabe Thu 18-Apr-13 19:11:57

Sounds like every toddler I know! Enjoy grin

Very unhelpful

Will be watching this thread to see if anyone else as a solution as my dd (2.5yo) could do with some help in this area too.

MrTumblesCrackWhore Thu 18-Apr-13 21:46:55

DS1 went through quite an intense phase of this when he was 2.5yrs old - he is 3.5yrs old now and still has some of the traits but far far less extreme.

It got to the stage where he was constantly telling me he doesn't 'like boys and girls' and shouting at random children on television 'go away!' or 'I don't like you!'. I was really worried for a while but I think he is actually just very sensitive and hasn't been able to articulate his anxiety/fear/discomfort about other children until more recently. It just manifested in a rather socially obnoxious way. He's at nursery and absolutely loving it. He is still quite black and white about his peers (and the occasional random child we come across at softplay or the park) but has forged a couple of really strong friendships already - much more strong, it appears, than many of the other 3 year olds I know. I think it'll just be part of his personality as he grows up. Aside from a minority of individuals he takes a dislike to, he is an extremely caring and loving child - something that we didn't really see this time last year.

I found coaching him on what and what not to say helped a little with him expressing his feelings. It turned out that a boy he appeared to have strong feelings of dislike for (for no apparent reason at the time) has been pulled up for some undesirable behaviour at his nursery. Ds1 is now able to tell this boy to leave him alone and the situation has improved now he knows how to talk to him properly.

HappyJoyful Fri 19-Apr-13 11:21:36

Thanks for the responses.

elllesabe as you say, I think it's pretty normal, and am glad to hear you think so too!

MrTumbles (laughing at your name great!) Thanks for the wise words, yes we had the go away too. I guess it is just human nature and there are people they will come across that they don't like. I agree totally that it's also possibly just a lack of being able to communicate.

survivingthechildren Fri 19-Apr-13 12:59:01

Sounds pretty normal! I think just try and avoid making a big deal out of it - "mummy, I don't like X", "oh dear, is that so? would you like your apples cut up?"

It will pass, don't fret smile

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