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"I don't like you Mummy"

(14 Posts)
LaDay Tue 16-Apr-13 19:49:56

2.5DS otherwise charming as it comes, but when awoken by me in the morning and also picked up from nursery in the evening shouts "I don't like you Mummy, I want Daddy". Cue hysterical crying from him, trying to kick, hit me, rolling around on the floor etc.

Has been the norm in the morning for around a week, first episode at nursery today. I have tried:
1. Telling him that it's not a kind thing to day
2. Telling him that Mummy loves him though
3. Asking him what's wrong (he just repeats the IDLYM mantra)
4. Ignoring
5. Getting cross
6. (and I'm not proud of this one) it got to the point after spending 20 minutes in this state, finally getting him in the car and him sreaming behind me - getting much in tears myself.

I keep trying to believe the "it's a phase".... but I would be hugely grateful if anyone had any ideas about what could help.

DorisShutt Tue 16-Apr-13 20:06:58

Snap.

I've got to the not engaging stage. I tell him that "that's okay, but I still love you" and then ignore. Mostly successfully. And then go and hide in the loo for a snivel.

For mine, it's not he doesn't want me, but more that he wants DH to spend more time with him; so DH now takes him out solo at the weekend for a morning or afternoon as often as possible.

Just keep chanting "this too shall pass"!

Skiffle Thu 18-Apr-13 19:44:58

I had the same with DD1 around that age, I used to just ignore it as best I could. I think she just grew out of that stage after a while without me doing anything in particular. Of course now at 4yo her insults are more refined - its " I'm going to put you down the toilet" "I'm going to live with nanny" etc etc!

exoticfruits Thu 18-Apr-13 20:00:31

It is terribly common and meaningless. Just make a calm comment such as 'just as well I have enough love for two then'.

KelleStar Thu 18-Apr-13 20:01:15

Yup, DD is 2.4 is like this too. I've tried to encourage some time with DH without me about. I wasn't sure if she was genuinely wanting daddy because he is more fun or because I am pregnant and can't do as much as I would like to with her.

Sometimes it's okay, but by the end of the week she can be quite horrible, though she doesn't understand how sad it makes me feel (due date for DC2 today) so am unusually emotional.

Last week she had a cot strike and wouldn't budge. Her cots in a nook and I have a huge bump and couldn't reach her, after 2 hours of sulking she gave in, she missed her favourite activity (toddler gymnastics) as we weren't able to leave the house on time.

Portofino Thu 18-Apr-13 20:03:41

He justs sounds tired. Ignore, take him a snack for when you collect him and don't take it personally. This too shall pass.

exoticfruits Thu 18-Apr-13 20:16:13

You will no doubt get 'I hate you Mummy'- also meaningless.

Startail Thu 18-Apr-13 20:22:10

I used to tell DD2 (who was a bit older) that it was part of a mummy's job description to be horrid/mean or hated and they therefore weren't bothered.

MissSusan Thu 18-Apr-13 20:24:30

Yep here too, the first words out of dt2s lips today were - no, I don't want to cuddle you Mummy, I want to cuddle Daddy. I didn't even ask for a cuddle. confused

Portofino Thu 18-Apr-13 20:36:55

You have all the I really hate you/storming off/door slamming yet to come. My advice would remain the same.

peachypips Thu 18-Apr-13 20:44:12

It is, as you said, a phase. He'll stop doing it soon, just say 'oh dear. Poor you' then ignore it! Bright and breezy.
DS1 went through a phase of wanting DH, then me, then DH and so on. It didn't last long, and if you make a big deal out of it he'll pick up on it and it may be one more than a phase!
Keep it light and ignore. Will pass!

peachypips Thu 18-Apr-13 20:44:39

*may become

coffeewineandchocolate Thu 18-Apr-13 20:49:38

Id go with the 'that's ok i still like you', look non plussed and put on his fav dvd, or play with his favourite toy excluding him like you are really interested and excited by it. It never fails here

duchesse Thu 18-Apr-13 21:02:23

Try not ot take it too much to heart. DD3 does this all the time, wails for "Dada" day in day out if she's tired and tells me daddy is her best friend but mummy isn't (fickle little madam that she is). DS used to say he wanted me dead so that Daddy could look after him (aged about 2.5). It was hurtful at the time, but he didn't mean it, and with DD3 I now know she doesn't really mean it. Getting through entire days of her saying that can be challenging to put it mildly and I sometimes just send her to have a nap. I have no real advice other than ignoring, ignoring or ignoring.

And it shall pass.

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