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DS has the fear

(14 Posts)
whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 22:39:50

DS has just turned 8. He's always been a bit of a worrier and has a very strong imagination, he is a real 'believer' in that if you picked up a stick off the floor and told him it was a wishing stick, he'd believe you!

He keeps getting so frightened, on one hand I think it's normal and he'll grow out of it, but then thinking it's disrupting his quality of life, and he seems to suffer more than any other kid I know.

Something will trigger it off. Either something he has seen in a film (only ever watches U and as carefully selected as possible PG films), a nightmare (has many of these) or even something he's heard (eg. something in a story - from a child appropriate book!). It seems to be getting more frequent.

We watched 'Hugo', a U certified film a few days ago, and there was one bit in it, lasted a few seconds, that really spooked him. Since then, he has:

been unable to stay in any room alone, meaning I have to even accompany him to the toilet

been sleeping in my bed (although normally, he will wake up every morning around 4am feeling scared, and come into my bed anyway)

worrying about if for most of the day.

At times he has managed to tell me if he is feeling less frightened, and why he thinks this is (eg. "I just remember last time I was scared of xxx nothing ever happened in the end") - albeit with a nervous voice, and we've had a cuddle while I've reassured him. But I have to be very careful about what I say otherwise it can set him off feeling very frightened and panicky again. Sometimes it can't be mentioned at all, he gets so scared.

Is this too much? Does anyone else have DC like this or that have gone through this phase?

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Apr-13 22:49:05

My DS is just 9 and while he is a worrier and fairly easily spooked, we've never had it this bad. Have you spoken to his teacher?

whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 22:55:06

It's never really been a problem with school, I'm guessing because he is always in a busy room full of people? I think I've mentioned it once before to his teacher to ask if it was okay if he could take someone to the toilet with him if they needed, she said they often go in pairs anyway.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight Mon 15-Apr-13 22:59:05

My DD was like this about 9 ish for a good 6 months. Dobby in Harry Potter freaked her out ( think only family in world who haven't watched it)
I was really concerned, wondered about seeing someone it was that bad.
Then all of a sudden it was gone!
She is still a bit nervy but back on the normal scale now. I just reassured her and acknowledged the feelings were real but the fears were not iykwim?

whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 23:10:43

DS can't watch Harry Potter either! We watched it until quite near the end, when the teacher baddie guy blush took off his turban to reveal a face at the back of his head - and that was it. He was petrified for days afterwards. It's hard to tell how long DS has been like it - he's always been easily freaked out, but think in the last 6 months it's gotten worse - or maybe i'm noticing it more as it's becoming more noticeable the older he is getting iyswim?
He stayed round my mums one night, and of all the things she made him watch, she put on Dr. Who angry. From her description, it sounds like he had an actual panic attack that evening.

whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 23:15:02

I think I might mention it to the docs, although, DS is an insomniac and they weren't too bothered about that.

He also fears pain quite a lot. He is okay with normal everyday bumps and scrapes - although I do think he has a very low pain threshold - but he can't get quite worried about things, like boils, which he has had before. And I mean, actual fear. When he last had a boil, it had burst, and I told him I had to remove the pus to stop infection, and he had - I think - a panic attack.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 15-Apr-13 23:18:58

Your poor ds. Dd went through a phase after watching something scary at school, when aged 10. She slept with me for about 6 months and wouldn't be alone. It will pass.

Jenny70 Mon 15-Apr-13 23:20:28

If it is affecting his quality of life - schooling, home etc, then it is not a normal level of anxiety and you should speak to your gp.

However, sadly I have little faith in the NHS when it comes to mental health, so hoping more practical advice comes your way.

My DS is 9 and sensitive, but lets things go more readily - scary bit might affect him for that night, but not next one.

whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 23:26:29

That's how I feel Jenny70 - a) that it's affecting his quality of life and b) that the doctors won't do anything about it sad. I will try though.

Funny how every post has commented on their ds at either 9 or 10 years of age. Exit I also went through a phase at that age, and would climb into my dad's bed in the middle of the night.

Gorjuss Mon 15-Apr-13 23:27:13

Sounds the same as my dd. She is going through similar things at the moment she won't go upstairs by herself, even if it's daytime. She doesn't get tired at night and has lots of nightmares. I am hoping it's an age thing, it doesn't worry me too much I can remember being easily spooked when I was younger.

whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 23:28:53

There was even a bit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit that he found scary (a pair of animated eyeballs to be exact) and that fear lasted about 2 weeks. If it was one night jenny70 I'd be fine with it.

whethergirl Mon 15-Apr-13 23:29:37

How old is your dd Gorjuss?

BreconBeBuggered Mon 15-Apr-13 23:32:49

I went through a similar phase at 10/11. I'd be spooked by talk of death, plus anything involving werewolves and vampires. It went on for a few months, but I still remember how genuinely terrified I felt, especially in the dark - it was a real physical sensation.

Gorjuss Mon 15-Apr-13 23:36:48

Same age, turned 8 this year. X

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