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Help - am at my wits end here!......sleep!

(11 Posts)
candr Mon 15-Apr-13 20:39:02

I have a 19m old DS. He goes to bed fine at 7.30/8.00 and has good routine (has a 1 hour nap at 1pm and we do activities each morning and afternoon) but he keeps waking from 3am onwards.
Sometimes it is half 3 other times 5am. He will literally sit up and start screaming for attention before he has even opened his eyes. Have checked he is dry, has dummy, is ok etc but the second you leave room he will scream and kick arms and legs in anger. He can do this for 1.5 hours till he sleeps exhausted.
If you go in and comfort him (not taking him out of cot) he is fine within seconds but starts as soon as you leave room again.
If you go in and tell him it is night time and to stop it in a firm voice he will stop for maybe 15 min and then start again.
If you leave him he will scream and scream.
If I sit on floor he will go back to sleep after few min but will wake half hour later and start again.
Please help a DH is getting really stressed as he has to be up at half 5 and is really tired at work and we have DC2 on the way so do not know how I will cope if this continues.
All advice on web is for babies or toddlers that can tell you what the problem is or are having nightmares - DS is not, there is no panic or accelerated heart rate just cross that I wont bring him into our bed but have not co-slept for months so don't know why he has started this a month or so ago.
Have tried putting to bed earlier - no change, if we have a late night (meal out etc) he will sleep through but advice is that he may be overtired so not to let him have late nights.

ButtonBoo Mon 15-Apr-13 21:11:53

No good advice here - sorry - but watching with interest.

DD is 18mo. She's been going through the night on and off but most nights I have had to go in once, usually to cover her back up and a quick smooth of her hair or maybe a cuddle if she wants one and she goes back to sleep.

She was poorly 6 weeks ago and she slept in with me for nearly 2 weeks. We usually do this when she's poorly. We've always had no problem getting her back to staying in her cot again once she's better.

However.... This time she just won't stay in her bed at night. She goes down fine in the evening but will wake every night about midnight and then every 20 mins or so. It is driving me nuts! It doesn't matter what I do. She will not stay asleep. Ultimately, after the umpteenth time of going in, I bring her in bed with us. She is going back to sleep each time but just wakes up again 20 mins later.

I have zero stamina to persevere at this moment in time. Too exhausted!

candr Mon 15-Apr-13 21:21:38

DS was sleeping ok I just went in once or twice a night briefly but same as you he got poorly and spent 3 nights with me. This has been going on since then. DH made a rule of not in our bed till 6am which I am fine with as think he has a point and needs to work, even if I do bring DS into bed he won't sleep just wants to get up and wander around which I will not allow.
Have looked at loads of other posts and seems common at their age but no one seems to have answer other than 'they will snap out of it' but when?????? (wish cbeebies was 24/7 channel sometimes not just 6am)

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Apr-13 22:23:58

Have you read hidden causes of night waking? Our DS woke just lie this and it was medical. Have you read Sound Sleep too?

CreatureRetorts Mon 15-Apr-13 22:40:30

Hungry? What about you feed or cuddle until he goes back to sleep?

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 15-Apr-13 22:53:18

Agree it could be hunger. Have you tried upping his calories in the day?

ButtonBoo Tue 16-Apr-13 07:17:41

DD eats LOADS! on nursery days she practically has 2 dinners. She has a good load of milk before bed ( sometimes a banana too). I put plenty of nappy cream on. I think she's warm enough ( but not too much so). She settles down pretty well (usually within 10mins) and the first 3-4 hours sleep is good.

I sit with her until she's asleep so am wondering if when she wakes up and I'm not there - that's the problem.

Really don't want to do CC. Have been adamant. But am starting to think it might be the best thing for her. Sleep deprivation is tough but usually once I'm up in the morning I feel fine. I wouldn't do CC so I can get a good nights sleep but if its better for HER in the long run then I might have to rethink. Just wish I could know she would snap out of it at 20mo say and I'd carry on as we are.

xyla Tue 16-Apr-13 08:33:33

If it were me, I'd be dragging the cot back into the bedroom for a little while until this phase passes.

ButtonBoo Tue 16-Apr-13 08:37:16

Yep. Maybe that's a good idea....

Jakeyblueblue Tue 16-Apr-13 08:46:05

Yep I'd drag the cot in too...... Well I'm a cosleeper so would just have them in the bed, but if you're not up for that, then bring the cot in. That's got to be better than cc?

candr Tue 16-Apr-13 20:16:26

Cot just won't fit which is why we co-slept when he was smaller but DH gets really hot and sweaty in bed and I need the room to move away from him which I can't do now DS is bigger. He eats loads during the day and has massive dinner and 8-9oz of milk - tummy like a drum by bedtime. He was pretty good last night only woke once and I settled him in a couple of min. Came into bed with me at 6am when DH left for work which I think woke DS
I don't want to lift him out of cot during night as he then thinks he is coming into bed with me and gets more upset when I put him down but I rub his back or tummy and he goes back to sleep f it is before 4/5 am.
Will look at the links posted above but am pretty sure it is not medical as he had loads of examinations recently when he was ill to diagnose him but you never know.
Same as Button he sleeps fine till early hours then can wake easily but not settle. We have black out blinds but not sure he is old enought to understand groclock.
Have tired him out and restricted nap today so will see how tonight goes.

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