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Help me with strange potty phobia

(8 Posts)
williwonti Wed 10-Apr-13 18:42:30

DS will be 2.5 in June. Started potty training 3 weeks ago. He is doing great with wees and will tell us when he needs to go so no problems there. Had a couple of accidents but obviously that's normal. BUT got 2 issues which can't resolve. Firstly, he will not sit on the potty (or toilet seat with insert) so every single wee has been standing. This would be fine except for the fact because of his position in front of the potty, unless I am leaning him forward, it just simply goes down his leg and all over his trousers. I've seen the boy urinals on eBay but can't buy them for everywhere he goes or carry it everywhere (they are fixed). Also, when we take him out, because he won't sit on toilets it's really awkward. Secondly, because he will not sit on the potty or toilet seat he isn't doing great with his poos. He either waits until overnight and does it in his pull-up or he ends up going in his pants after an hour of trying to "hover" over the potty.

Any ideas? It seems so cruel (for me) that he gets the physical training but hates the act of sitting on the potty. Fwiw, the only thing I can think of re the potty is that it clipped his skin on the very first morning but can't say I know it did. (Have posted on PT section but more people read this)

mummy2benji Wed 10-Apr-13 21:23:09

Can you get him to choose his own potty or toilet seat? You could browse Amazon and look for some bright and colourful ones - some are in the shape of animals, or have pictures of trains etc. Maybe they do Thomas the Tank Engine or Fireman Sam ones. I can recommend a great little book called 'Pirate Pete's Potty' which my ds1 loved and would request as a bedtime story! Pete gets to choose a potty in it so maybe you could read the book first. My ds1 never got on with a potty, he preferred a toilet trainer seat. You can buy these blue 'peepee balls' with smiley faces on which you throw into the toilet and little boys can aim at - that really charmed ds1 and he liked the idea of trying to hit one while having a pee or a poo. There is another book he liked called 'Even Firefighters Need the Potty' - very American as they refer to the toilet as 'the potty' but ds1 loved it as he was / is obsessed with all things firefighter-related. Good luck!

williwonti Thu 11-Apr-13 10:35:56

I have Pirate Pete and a few others. He will happily wee in the potty (standing) or the toilet as he doesnt have to sit on it. It is the actual sitting that is the problem, I can't get him to sit! Help!

poshme Thu 11-Apr-13 19:27:13

I had major issues training my son, one issue was that he wouldn't sit on any toilet apart from our home one. For a LONG TIME. He would not sit on a potty either.
It was really difficult (possibly the hardest patenting thing I've had to deal with- which I know sounds bonkers but we had major probs)
In the end, I used chocolate. Before this, I never used food as a reward, and haven't since. I also had to hold him( in a bear hug) as he weed on strange toilets to help reassure him. It took a long time to go from that to just holding his hand, to just touching his hand, to being near him, to him being independent. We started with him sitting on a toilet with his clothes on with me holding him so he could see it was ok.
We still don't know what caused it, I think there may have been something at nursery but we will never know sad. He was finally fully trained at 4.3
He is now a fully weeing, pooing 6 year old who is entirely independent with all toiletting!
I don't really have answers I just wanted to say - you are not alone! And ignore all the 'helpful' comments from family & friends- unless you have big issues with potty training, you have no idea how hard it can be. My DD was easy to train so it wasn't me!!
He will get through it- and so will you- good luck smile

williwonti Sat 13-Apr-13 08:31:17

Exactly. It's not in any way that he doesn't get it because he does, it is a purely physical thing with the potty or toilet. Spent £30 on new Toy Story Potty, step and training seat yesterday and while he loves the fact Buzz sent them (!) he wont use them for their intended use. He now wants to stand on the step and pee into the potty (not goign to happen!). "Helpful" friends suggesting just not ready and to go back to pull ups all day (only nights now) because he doesn't get it but I think that will only confuse as he'll start regressing with his bladder then....Really don't know what to do.

MERLYPUSS Sat 13-Apr-13 14:18:59

Could it be the seat is cold on his bum? You can get padded loo seats that would be warm.
Our boys never sat and wee'd. They would do stand up wees in the loo like daddy. When they were out the wee'd up a tree if caught short. It is good training to get them to pee away from theirself for this reason alone.

LeChatRouge Sat 13-Apr-13 14:28:56

What happens if someone else takes him to the loo, grandma or a mummy friend? If they were all confident and firm 'Come on then, time for a wee, then we can wash hands and then you can show me your new toy/book - yes etc' all the while manhandling him onto the loo/distracting him from the event?

Sounds like a fear about something, maybe if he goes a few times it will go away?

Failing that, blackmail. My nephew used to get a balloon. Once they saw some tied on someone's gate to indicate a party and his mum said 'Ooh, what's happening in there?' And he answered 'Someone's had a poo on the loo.'

williwonti Sun 14-Apr-13 22:37:51

He goes to my parents 2 days a week and sister's one. He is exactly the same, screaming crying, stiffening so cant get him on the loo. He definitely responds to rewards and hence why his wees are going so well, he got present every time he did one and then they lessened off til he knows he'll only get prize for poo now but still nothing, just waits for overnight and does it in his pull up. He's such a good boy, don't have any issues with him really, really very calm and mild-mannered so something about it he really doesn't like. He starts pre-school tuesday so i am going to sit back for a while and see if watching others go along with no bother helps...god i hope it does.

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