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When to stop night time lifting

(7 Posts)
bebejones Mon 01-Apr-13 18:45:09

Posted in Potty training too, really need some suggestions!

My DD will be 5 in August (how did that happen?!?! shock) and currently I still lift her for a wee when I go to bed. Our only toilet is downstairs (very old house) so she has a potty in her room which she is starting to get a bit big for. She has had about 2 wet beds in the past year WITH me lifting her at 10-10.30 ish, both times when she was ill and coughing. She does sometimes get up in the morning and have a wee on her potty if we aren't awake but generally she won't leave her room until she hears that me or DH are awake and up and about.

So when should I stop lifting her? I genuinely have no idea if she can make it through the night without me lifting her but worried that she's got into the habit of going when I pick her up. (I'm lucky that she's small because she doesn't wake up and is usually completely dead weight!) She's been completely dry during the day since she was about 2.5. Some nights when I go in to her she has already had a wee on the potty. She does have a drink before bed, and always goes to the toilet before going upstairs. She goes to bed about 7-7.30 and usually goes to sleep around 8-8.30, but she doesn't get up and mess about, just plays and 'reads'. Not sure I would trust her to go up and down the stairs in the night on her own, and she won't sleep with a nightlight, it has to be dark! Any advice greatly appreciated!

NAR4 Mon 01-Apr-13 19:13:19

You could just leave her and see what happens or slowly move the night time lifting until it isn't done until the morning. eg Monday lift at 10.30pm, Tuesday 11pm, Wednesday 11.30pm etc. This would of course involve you getting up during the night and breaking your sleep, but might give you more confidence than just leaving her to go through the night, straight off.

Maybe have a reward chart for using the toilet by herself and put a night light in the hallway to give some light when she has left her room, until she can get to the hall light switch, to go downstairs for the toilet. You could always tell her to come and get you if she needs the toilet in the night and take her downstairs. That way you don't have to worry about her going down on her own.

bebejones Mon 01-Apr-13 19:41:20

I had considered getting up in the night to lift her. But that does mean distrusting my sleep...hmm

It's difficult to explain how tricky it is getting down to the toilet when you can't see the layout of our house. Our stairs are VERY steep, the landing is only about 1m sq, and then you have to go through the dining room and kitchen to get to the bathroom...without letting the cats out of the dining room where they sleep at night!

She is such a heavy sleeper that I'm not entirely convinced she would wake if she needed to go! But I won't know until I test her IYSWIM?!

NAR4 Tue 02-Apr-13 09:19:29

That is a long way to the toilet in the night. I used to Nanny for someone who had the same layout downstairs as yours sounds.

It makes me appreciate my upstairs toilet, which I hate during the day when my toddler needs the loo and I have to go upstairs with her to lift her on, as she is too small even with a step.

Your DD might have a few accidents to start with but will probably be able to go through the night by her age, without needing the loo.

RatherBeOnThePiste Tue 02-Apr-13 09:26:39

There will come a point where she has to go down on her own, but not yet.

I'd stop lifting her, so she can start to recognise that she needs a wee when she is still asleep, at the mo she isn't having to do that.

I'd tell her that if she needs a wee in the night, to stand in her bedroom doorway and call for you OR YOUR DH smile to take her down.

But it won't be long before she goes all night, then she can just go in the morning on her own.

bebejones Tue 02-Apr-13 15:36:03

My current thinking is I will wait til the weather is a bit warmer...makes it easier to get bedding dry if she has an accident!

I think just stopping the lifting would be better than changing the time of night I do it. Currently she is managing to go from 10-11ish until she wakes up (usually 7-7.30) which is the bulk of her night IYSWIM.

bebejones Tue 02-Apr-13 15:36:56

Piste, I'm liking your thinking about her calling for DH.... Will never happen!hmm

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