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tantrums and writing problems with 8yr old ds

(5 Posts)
lisylisylou Wed 27-Mar-13 10:54:01

Don't really know where to start with this. My ds when he was 2 would have terrible tantrums and it was difficult as his sister was only 6 months old. He's grown up now to a healthy 8 year old but still with tantrums and has writing problems. Both me and ds are doing the Write from the start programme and he really enjoys doing it. He pushes me to get everything ready for it every morning.

I went to parents evening last night and probably I didn't take it as seriously as I should have done! My ds's teacher said that the part time teacher had asked the class to write a story (from what I can gather she is getting a bit of a reputation as a bit of an old dragon). My son had written a story and had got quite a long way with it and then she came along and said it's not good enough and told him to do it again. He got angry, threw a tantrum and broke his pencil in half. His teacher had been asked by the p/t teacher to show me the pencil. His teacher said that when he writes at short bursts he is very good but when he does a lot of writing it is illegible (it really is bad though).

My concern though is the tantrums and the bad writing. There is back chat from him but he will go to his room when I tell him off. We have the normal rage when we ask him to come off anything electronic and me and dh have started calling it i brat now. However, he can be lovely (he gave me a medal last night for being the best mum in the world!!), he has lots of friends and always goes to bed at 9pm.

I need to know if I'm on my own, if anyone can help me work out any more writing solutions and how to get over these tantrums as he really just explodes! I don't expect him to be perfect but when you see something holding your child back as a mum you try to help. I have also had such a positive experience taking fish oils and has lifted my mood, clearer thinking, I'm wondering if it might help him

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 27-Mar-13 13:15:12

Fish oils could well help him too. As for bedtime, our DS is 8.11 and goes to bed at 8, perhaps an earlier bedtime may help?

NeverendingStoryteller Wed 27-Mar-13 17:20:02

I wouldn't be so concerned with the bad writing - it seems to take some boys forever to get the hang of it all. Indeed, all the smartest people I know have the worst-ever handwriting. In our computer-age, he's more likely to use a computer for constructing stories and other tasks as he gets older, anyway. As for the tantrum, I know it's not acceptable, but you can kinda see where he's coming from - he's trying really hard and not getting the encouragement in an area where he struggles. However, it might be worth talking to him about other ways to manage his anger? Especially when it involves authority figures like teachers and parents?

lisylisylou Wed 27-Mar-13 19:52:10

Thank you so much for your replies, I completely understand his tantrum at school so thats why I didn't take it majorly seriously. She's a new teacher with a point to prove I guess and I never brought it up to my ds as personally I think he's right. I wouldn't like it, I think my concern is that his writing is dragging down his maths and his spellings. Brilliant at it all in his head but when it comes to putting it all on paper its not so great! It's difficult as well as his sister is only 18 months behind him and she is so good at writing and the organisational skills! I know thats part of being a girl. I take on board the earlier bedtime and I am always talking to him about other ways to manage his anger but as U2 sing he gets stuck in the moment and he can't get out of it lol!

They're not huge, huge issues and I have been up against much worse such as dd rolling down a hill still in a trolley when she was 18 months old and crashing into a car with the people still in, ds being tied up against a fence by 2 other kids in the playground, bulllying, ds lieing to get attention and having to almost police interrogate him to get to the truth etc. This just feels like these are the last bits to try to push him on and then I know he will do so well. Not sure if I make any sense. Like my dh says 'he could make the pope swear' lol

JiltedJohnsJulie Wed 27-Mar-13 20:15:35

If its any help, my DS has shocking writing too. One thing that really helped was DH sitting down with him every evening and doing 10 minutes practice. DH is pretty kind and patient and it was nice for DS to get some one to one with him.

If the tantrums are often, you don't think he's still being bullied do you?

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