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potty training, but ds has no speech

(14 Posts)
YesIveNameChanged Mon 25-Mar-13 11:12:52

Ds is 2.4 and im beginning to think about potty training. However i dont know how to go about it as ds has no speech.
He's very bright and has good levels of understanding, but hes very reluctant when it comes to communucating. He knows some signs, but when we ask him to sign something or say something he hides his head or shouts.
So how the hell do i potty train him? I know he will understand what to do but my concern is he wont be able to tell me when he needs a wee, and if i keep asking him he'll get upset being questioned so ik not sure what to do.

LeBFG Mon 25-Mar-13 11:17:28

Does your DS imitate noises? You could reinforce weewee with a 'phissh' noise. If you're using a potty, you could leave it in easy reach so he can get it/bring it to you if he wants a pee.

seeker Mon 25-Mar-13 11:19:22

I would leave it. I'm a great believer in leaving potty training as late as possible, but in this case more than ever. Speech first!

TheFogsGettingThicker Mon 25-Mar-13 11:37:56

If there isn't an overwhelming need to start potty-training, I would leave it until he could communicate more.

In the meantime, you could start by taking him with you (and get your DH to do the same) on your toilet visits, and see how receptive he is.

My DS had a speech delay, and in his case I didn't think he was ready for any sort of toiletting til he was 3.3 and at preschool.

MRSJWRTWR Mon 25-Mar-13 12:13:01

DS2 had a speech delay and I waited until he could communicate better. I think he was at least 2.8.

eastendfareast Mon 25-Mar-13 12:25:04

Another one saying to wait for the language to come. My DS is speech delayed and we trained him at about 3 years and 3 months. He still had very limited speech but could say wee and poo. I'm glad we waited as he was trained in less than 2 weeks and it wasn't very difficult. Younger DS was 2.5 but is very verbal and that was a big deciding factor when deciding to go for it.

IrisGirl Mon 25-Mar-13 13:53:04

my DD is also 2.4 and has very limited speech!

i've not even thought about potty training her yet as i know she will not be able to tell me if she needs to go and i think the whole thing will be so hard for us both.

i'm more than willing and happy to wait for a good few months or however long until her speech (has hopefully) improved and she can communicate better, thereby making it a fun learning experience for her, rather than something that frustrates and upsets us both lol xx

YesIveNameChanged Mon 25-Mar-13 14:40:45

Ds wont imitate noises, i think he feels tested when we ask him to do something relating to speech and communication. He's been referred for speech therapy and we'll be starting that in a few weeks time.
What about going to nursery though? I wanted ds to go for a couple of sessions a week but i thought he'd need to be in pants for that?
I really dont want to wait until he's 3, he's very big so i already struggle to find nappies big enough for him (only certain brands in size 6 fit him)
I also worry people are going to judge him e.g cant speak and still in nappies (he looks old than 2)must be something wrong with him etc; my stepson has autism so i know people can be unkind.
Sorry for rambling, i think my worries about his lack of speech have overtaken the potty training question.

hairtearing Mon 25-Mar-13 14:44:26

I'm toilet training my ds who had issues with speech for a while, I wouldn't have even entertained it before speech , why we've had to leave it a while as it is.

DewDr0p Mon 25-Mar-13 14:49:43

I'm another one who thinks leave it for a while OP. Perhaps ask your SALT for some advice on it? Is he showing any signs of readiness? Or is it more you feeling like you "ought" to be?

Fwiw, my big two (no speech issues) weren't PT until just before and just after their 3rd birthdays. Dc3, whose speech was delayed, was just over 3.6. I think 2.4 is quite early for boys, so you are still well within the "normal" timeframe. (I totally understand the pressure but really it is none of anyone else's business!)

Nursery should not be refusing a place on those grounds, that is considered discrimination and not allowed any more.

firawla Mon 25-Mar-13 14:49:52

They don't need to be in pants for nursery. I would be surprised if any nursery is going to try to enforce this for a 2 year old, so don't feel you have to rush it other than that. Apart from the speech do you feel he would be ready??
I'm another one with a ds with speech delay and I haven't tried training him yet, but he does have more issues than just the speech and I don't think he's ready, he hasn't shown any awareness.
Who cares if people judge him being in nappies and not talking, they can f off!!!!! If that's the case then they are the ignorant ones and the one at fault not your ds!
However if you really feel he's ready but its just the speech holding him back then you could keep trying to support him with an alternative method of communication or just make the toilet very accessible to him so he is able to take himself if he is capable of that. If he wont sign then some kind of visuals eg have a picture of toilet so he could go and point to let you know??

YesIveNameChanged Mon 25-Mar-13 15:12:26

Well he's very interested in the toilet, loves looking in it and flushing the chain. And he had some nappy rash the other week, and everytime he pooed he pulled at his nappy and made his sad noises and looked for the sudacren but maybe thats just because it was a bit sore.
The lack of speech means i really dont know if he's ready or not. I think if im honest alot of it is coming from me (im on maternity leave atm so can stay at home for a week if needs be) and i do feel like i "should" be potty training, but ds is my first so im bloody clueless with how to approach it.

ZuleikaD Mon 25-Mar-13 15:14:51

Don't worry about him being able to tell you - wait till the weather warms up and he can go nappy-and-trouserless, show him where the potties are and see how he does. If he's ready he'll use them.

ellesabe Tue 26-Mar-13 14:27:07

Does he sign at all?

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