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Any Positive and encouraging examples of kids who never listened at school but are now fine?

(14 Posts)
Marrsy Thu 21-Mar-13 19:28:10

OK so I really need to hear some good stories about kids who were a worry when young. Perhaps they were thought of as autistic or had ADD but are now totally fine?

A bit of background, I started a long thread a few months back about my mother-in-law saying my son was autistic. She later 'downgraded' that to Aspergers. I always thought he was alright just a bit of a handful and always maintained he needed time to develop. Sconce then there have been developments...

The school we now saying he has attention problems, possibly ADD. I agree he is a bit away with the fairies and could be more focused. Swimming lessons are taking forever and he still needs constant support to get dressed and eat food - he is 6 in July.

I might be in denial but I would like to hear some positive stories about boys or girls who caused these kinds of concerns but were much improved by 7,8,9 or whenever. I am sick of reading checklists and being told vague things like it might be this or might be that but never getting to the bottom of it.

Due to NHS cuts locally we can't get a referral for him to be assessed so I might as well try and be positive which will hopefully rub off on him.

Any encouragement out there?

anonymosity Thu 21-Mar-13 20:21:13

Ah he sounds like a cautious little boy, perhaps? My son took a year to get used to being in the water and can now swim, chaotically but with much enthusiasm. He is 6 1/2.
When he was 5 he largely put his clothes on the wrong way around and can totally tune out when he is interested in something else. He is doing fine at school and socially, developmentally.
I think this might well be a 5 year old boy thing.
Is there a chance that when he's as you say "away with the fairies" that he's thinking about something which interests him during an otherwise boring lesson?
I always thought that ADD manifested itself physically as well - I could be very wrong, but a restlessness? You haven't mentioned that he does this.
I am a big believer that with little boys sometimes things just need patience and they fall into place. There is a ton of over-analysing that goes on sometimes.

adoptmama Thu 21-Mar-13 20:34:47

Taught a lad all thru secondary school. Attention span of a gnat. Drove his parents to dispair and his teachers up the wall. Never paid attention or did homework if he could avoid it. Seemed monumetally immature a lot of the time. Many seriously thought he was ADD. He recently graduated with a 1st class degree and had been accepted for a phd. Some kids are just square pegs in round holes. Some kids just don't find their focus in school. It doesn't mean he is ADD (an easy label these days) or Aspergers (another label a lot of people are quick to assume these days; proving a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing). Your son is still very young and just because he still struggles with swimming (my dd swims like a brick and hates the water despite 2.5 years of lessons) and is not as independent as he might be in some areas, it does not mean that he has any disorder or condition. I remember your previous thread and I think your MIL has undermined your confidence with her nagging and off the cuff 'diagnosis'. Try to relax and look at all the skills your son has mastered; if he is broadly on target socially etc. for his age then I really would try not to worry. Lots of children his age are away with fairies, spiderman etc. They have rich imaginations, imaginary friends etc and it can be very absorbing for them.

Marrsy Thu 21-Mar-13 20:45:10

Thanks ladies, these are the things I want to focus on.

Anonymosity, he has real restlessness. Not hyper, in fact quite lethargic at times but squirms and wriggles around a lot, ESP. At mealtimes which have always been a battle ground. His gym teacher said he just 'floats around'.

Al that said, he is great at reading now, can write well when he can be bothered, his drawing is getting better and he has friends. Not brilliantly co-ordinated but we are seeing a chiropractor now to help with this.

Adoptmama, with regard to the poision MIL, she watched him in a gymnastics display this sat and whilst we were all gushing about how great it and he was she only managed to say "he took a long time to realise what was going on". Wonderful woman, really outstanding grandmother ;)

Marrsy x

adoptmama Thu 21-Mar-13 20:50:36

Have you looked at dyspraxia? You are describing a lot of the characteristics in a round about way; immature drawing, struggling maybe with writing (pencil grip can be painful making children reluctant to write); muscle control/coordination issues; poorly organised or slow to get going etc. It might be worth while looking at the dyspraxia foundation (.org) and seeing if it rings bells for you.

adoptmama Thu 21-Mar-13 20:51:08

and you should buy your MIL some ruby slippers and then throw a glass of water on her and see what happens ;)

Marrsy Thu 21-Mar-13 21:12:30

Hahaha. Good plan!

We have thought dyspraxia too so are trying to help him along with gymnastics, swimming and soon football. All his friends pay football and he just isn't good at it so that is when he gets a bit left out. Heartbreaking this motherhood lark!

anonymosity Thu 21-Mar-13 22:33:01

I would be tempted to buy the MIL a muzzle angry

DeWe Fri 22-Mar-13 10:41:19

My ds is almost exactly the same age and he's very similar. I've just watched his assembly, and, although he wasn't one of those placed in touching distance of a teacher, he was squirming, and whispering to the girl next to him (who ignored him brilliantlygrin)

School say he focuses when it interests him. Unfortunately there's only so many lessons can be planned round one child who has fairly unusual interests. wink. They feel that he will grow out of it. I, otoh have begun to wonder whether he needs some intervention.

One thing ds does have is severe glue ear. He's had two sets of grommets so far and I'm expecting to be told he needs a third at the next appointment. he's definitely worse when he can't hear. Have you had his ears tested?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 22-Mar-13 10:49:59

My DD is 8 and a young year 4. She's 9 in July. She had SUCH trouble...she couldn't seem to take information on and never cmpleted tasks....she moved schools at age JUST 7 and has now ben in her new school a year and a half.

This parents evening, last week her teacher said "I don't know what happened to DD but it's as if a light has been switched on"

She's gone from behind to ahead in all areas....I am so relived. We also suspected ASD when she was small. She had and still has quirks.

The ONLY thing DH and I can attribute it to is an extreme diet change...we decided to cut out all processed foods last year....we only eat homemade bread and fresh food.

We make all our own cakes and biscuits too. In the past few months we cut out red meat...though myself and the children still eat some chicken and we all eat fish.

this is all we can think of which may have helped DD.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 22-Mar-13 10:51:22

Have you looked at Sensory Processing disorder?

Marrsy Wed 27-Mar-13 17:45:41

Neo. I have cut out wheat and dairy on the advice of his chiropractor as she said diet has a HUGE effect on behaviour. She was very clear about the fact he must have protein at every meal and he loves spag Bol so I won't cut out red meat. It's early days so fingers crossed.

He's also summer born so I am sure lots of his struggles are down to immaturity compared to peers.

I'm endlessly hopeful!

ChristmasJubilee Wed 27-Mar-13 19:39:28

I agree with DeWe have you had his hearing checked and his eyesight?

Eldest DD..attention span of a bored gnat.. by age 6 she drove her teachers nuts.. they asked for her to be assessed and she was dx with ADHD and put on Ritalin..

Also diagnosed with dyspraxia and ASD traits!

She's now 21 and in her 3rd year of medicine studying to be a doctor, having flown through her school career!!! Still has a restlessness and flitty mind, doesn't need much sleep and is still very much ADHD..(went back on meds as an adult too) Still dyspraxic and never learned to hold a pen correctly!

But.. the whirling inattentive child has become a very able, quick minded doctor-to be! She does tend to leave a trail of mess and destruction behind her still grin

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