18 month old wont sleep in cot

[Annie456]

Hi, need some advice on my 18 month old DS who has really started to reject his cot. Both at nap and bed time he will really shout and scream and when he knows the story is winding up, he'll try to sleep on the spare bed in his room where we read the stories. (It's not possible to move the bed as its a small apartment and that becomes our bed when we have visitors / DS is sick). Is it normal to do this-is it maybe just another boundary pushing exercise?
It's also happening at about 5am where he'll wake up screaming and for the past 2 nights we've picked him up and brought him into the spare bed with one of us because, quite frankly, the idea of reasoning with him / getting up at thAt time is out of the question!!!
I don't want this to become a big issue / pattern....any thoughts welcome!!! X

[ZuleikaD]

Time for a big bed! 18 months is pretty normal for moving to a bed.

[ZuleikaD]

Also, you may have to get used to the 5am wakeups - that's normal for toddlers too.

[er1507]

My 19mo dd goes through phases like this. She's never spent a full night in her cot. Most nights she's happy to fall asleep in there other nights she's not having any of it. Personally I don't make a big deal of it and don't mind if she comes into my bed. It mostly tends to happen if she's super tired or is about to fall ill. Some nights that she refuses to sleep in her cot then I just sit next to her cot and we have a cuddle and I'll put her in when she's asleep.

[Purplecatti]

Maybe he just doesn't like the cot. Mum says my sister had to be moved into a bed at 9 months as she'd scream blue murder in the cot.

[PotteringAlong]

If he wants to sleep in the 'big bed' can that not just become his bed?

[Annie456]

Thanks for replies....unfortunately 5am just became 3am so I'm thinking he's going through some kind of separation anxiety?? He's not having a nightmare as he stops crying when I go in to tell him "it's sleepy time" etc whereas he wouldn't even listen if it was nightmare.
He can't have the bed as his "bed" as its really high (maybe 3 feet off the ground) we are in temporary (6month) accommodation so I can't change the furniture for anything else. Surely it's a case of him testing out the whole not-going-to-sleep thing rather than wanting to sleep in a bed? I mean, he might never want to go to sleep at all but he doesn't know what's good / safe for him at this age!
I'm just at a loss at how to soothe him at 3am without developing even worse patterns / props...

[LeBFG]

This is exactly what happened with our DS at about 18m. We tried CIO the first night - oh boy, he cried for three hours without a break I kid you not. We got over it by fixing a wood frame to a bed pushed against a wall and over about a week one of us would sit on the bed with him with the light off. Once he was asleep we tiptoed out. Finally, he came through it and now takes himself to bed as he did before. The staying with him helped him through the difficult bit without developing any bad habits. I think it was a bit of an insecurity thing/nightmare plus hating his cot. With the cot you can't sit/lay down next to him in the same way as in a bed. Could he share your bed for a while?

[Annie456]

I'm reluctant to bring him into bed with me...I was a terrible sleeper as a child (even as a 5 year old +) and I know it's because my mum let me get into all kinds of bad habits. I really don't want the same for DS so when he's going through these phases I tend to be quite strict (unless he's ill off course!)
He eventually went to sleep after 40 mins of CC so I just hope this will get easier over the next couple of nights...

[Viviennemary]

I think he just wants out of the cot and doesn't quite understand why there is a bed there that he can't sleep in. I see you can't replace this bed as it's only temporary accommodaton so a solution is quite difficult at the moment. I certainly wouldn't bring him into your bed at this age.

[Iggly]

Can you out the side of the cot down for him?