Advanced search

Toddler who wants his hands down my top/ to play with my nose and ears all the time

(15 Posts)

I had no idea how to title this, can you tell! wink

My 22 month old is doing really well with everything except sleep - which he largely doesn't do... but he is quite demanding and, although very active 95% of the time and independent sometimes, when tired he wants to sit on me/ be carried by me (fine and normal) but with his hands down my top really scrabbling around, or when stopped from doing that he fiddles incessantly with my ears or nose! Sleep is a problem and when I co-sleep with him (which I don't do all night but usually end up doing from the early houses) it is hard for me to do more than doze as he does this in his sleep too!

Is this normal, do other tots on here do it? Any idea how to stop it without him getting really upset (which he does)? I stopped breast feeding 9 months ago, so it seems unlikely to be linked to that... It is really hugely annoying blush

*early hours not early houses!

youngblowfish Thu 14-Mar-13 16:59:11

DS is exactly the same age and exactly the same - loves showing his affection that way or by flicking a mole I have on my cheek. He also tries to do it at night, but he is a good sleeper now, so the ocassions when he is in our bed fiddling with my face are few and far between. He never slept until he was 13 months old, so I can sympathise with your tiredness a little - it is soul destroying, isn't it?

I have no advice, because I rather like it. When he is gentle I praise him, but when he gets carried away and hurts me, I remind him to be gentle and demonstrate it by stroking his cheek. He always reacts really well to it and lovingly strokes me in return. I often find that he does not do it nearly as much on days when we have plenty of skin to skin contact, for example if we had been swimming or playing sleeping bunnies on the floor or if I carried him a lot in a sling (I often use a hip carrier called scootababy which can hold a toddler as heavy as 40lbs - DS loves it). Maybe if you initiate more physical contact it may discourage the fiddling? In any case, hope you both get some sleep soon!

sparklingsea Thu 14-Mar-13 17:21:07

DS is five and has always had a thing about touching my nose and lips. He doesn't do it as much as he used to but if he is feeling tired and cuddly he gets all 'lippy'. It honestly drives me mad, mostly as I don't want grubby paws all over my mouth. Think it is pretty common though, I know of an ear lobe fiddler, an elbow stroker and one poor friend whose DD likes to fiddle with a nipple! Think they grow out of it eventually, not sure how you can stop it as I have never managed. I can get quite cross at times like when I am talking to someone and he comes up for some lips and I can't hold a conversation and he says things like 'but I really like it Mummy'!

UniqueAndAmazing Thu 14-Mar-13 17:30:54

DD is 15 months, but she seems to enjoy slapping me. hmm

she sleeps with mitts over her hands (to stop scratching), and this morning she spent a full 5 minutes punching me in the face because she couldn't stretch her hands out to slap.

Oh blimey... at least I'm not alone!

youngblowfish I carry him about a lot, sit with him on my knee (or more often climbing my back) pick him up all the time, though I don't use a sling any more (I did use a ring sling and a Didymous when he was younger, but he's my youngest by 3.5 years so I don't need my hands free for another baby or toddler and can just pick him up and put him down on demand, rather than particularly needing the hands free convenience of a sling that was so useful when I had the older 2 close in age). We don't have skin to skin as such really because it's freezing grin To my shame I don't take him swimming in winter - our nearest naice indoor pool is a 45 minute motorway drive away - we have closer rather miserable chlorine stinky school pools open to the public but I only take my older kids to actually swim there, they are not much fun to take a toddler to play. I take the kids to a pool almost every day in summer though, as we have a fantastic outdoor pool complex - if last year is anything to go by though he won't want to be in my arms doing skin-to-skin bonding there, he was rushing about all over the place last year and attempting to swim off after his brother and sister in his harnessed swim ring! He isn't that snuggly or keen on being carried until he's tired, he is more of a swoop in for a cuddle (or to claim me as his possession if his brother or sister are being cuddly) then zoom off again, and he prefers to walk when out.

He doesn't hurt me, but he does forage about down my top, which I really can't stand, and he also pulls and stretches my necklines out of shape. If he just had his hand loosely inside my top to keep warm I wouldn't really mind grin The sleeping is the biggest irritation really though, if he didn't do it I wouldn't mind co-sleeping, but as it is I am up 2 or 3 times in the night to him and re-settle him by sitting by his bed, then when I get up the 3rd or 4th time I'm often so tired I decide to just lie with him, but then it is impossible to fall into a deep sleep with a child fiddling with your face (I sleep in high necked PJs now, which also isn't a great look - can't face putting on a nicer skimpier night dress only to end up with DS2's hand down my top!!!)

Hmmm I guess its just grin and bare it, glad to know at least I am not alone!

Unique hope your DD loses her taste for slapping soon! sad

Sparkling my 5 year old (who is rather big for his age - wears age 8 clothes) likes to greet me when I pick him up from Kindergarten by running full pelt and leaping at me so I have to catch him, which is all very lovely, if a little unbalancing, but then when I put him down he insists on jiggling my excessively large belly as if enthusiastically stroking a large pet dog or something! It is hard to get him to stop without being mean when he is happy to be picked up, but I really wish he'd stop that part too! blush I guess I just have weird boys, my daugher expresses affection with more conventional cuddles!!

HearMyRoar Thu 14-Mar-13 20:20:10

My dd is 1 and has just started to forage down my top. I just assumed it was a natural side effect of bf as she just sees my boobs as her comforter so a soon as she gets sleepy or a bit stressed wants to get at them. The problem is when we are out somewhere I would rather not have her attempting to expose me to the world. I am gently removing her hands (or head) and ignoring as much as possible and hoping it will pass.

She has also started prodding my belly, which she finds hilarious. I had thought I was looking quite trim hmm

youngblowfish Thu 14-Mar-13 23:07:21

MrTumbles, I hope my previous post did not come across as suggesting you did not cuddle your fiddly DS enough - for what it is worth you sound like a much more experienced and patient parent than me. The nighttime jollies in particular sound horrendous, I got so impatient with DS fiddling with my mouth in the night a few months ago DH had to take over as I was beginning to get very grumpy. How you cope with being up every couple of hours and having other children to look after I do not know.

For what it is worth, personality-wise our DS seem poles apart. I would class mine as very cuddly and not terribly active. He prefers being close to me in public, we never experienced any bolting or running off and when we go swimming he clutches to me so hard, I practically have to peel him off (he does love going swimming, honest!).

It just occurred to me that we evolved part of a bedtime routine a few months ago which DS really looks forward to and which helps with wintertime skin-to-skin. Before a bath, we go upstairs and have a bit of a rough and tumble on our kingsize bed. DS is obviously quite tired by then but absolutely loves rolling about on top of me or DH, squeezing us, making silly noises and faces. I use this time to remove his clothes, which he finds hilarious and greets his own naked body parts like old friends. We talk about my body and his body and play hide and seek under the duvet. We compare bellies, play footsie and tickle each other. He laughed at me the other day when I told him that he used to live in my belly and tried to fit inside it through my belly button. Sorry, I am rambling - not sure if that is even a useful suggestion.

I am completely at a loss as to how one would attempt to stop nighttime fiddling and can only offer my sympathies.

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 15-Mar-13 16:29:53

Oh my god! My dd 20 months always is putting her hands down my top and I stopped breastfeeding at 8 months. I thought I was the only one lol. U r certainly not alone. Must b a comfort thing but my god it gets annoying. Especially when she had sharp nails and I'm breastfeeding my newborn at the moment so it's all a bit tender in the boob department lol it can get a little awkward when we are out in public too as when she does it it draws people's attention straight to my chest lol

Jakeyblueblue Fri 15-Mar-13 23:01:45

Mine too. 20 months and still bf but likes to have his hands down my top at any opportunity!
Quite embarrassing in public but no idea how to stop it! What can I say? He loves the boobies! smile

CointreauVersial Fri 15-Mar-13 23:05:21

DS used to twirl my hair as a comforter. That was quite cute, and didn't bother me. I might have felt differently if he were tweaking my nose.

Thanks everyone, youngblowfish smile It did a bit, but he far more possessive and jealous over me than his older siblings ever were, so having to share me most of the time and wanting more contact is probably part of it. Its just a very non ideal way of going about it!

the non ideal way of going about it meaning DS2's way of trying to be close, obviously, nothing wrong with what you said!

youngblowfish Sat 16-Mar-13 21:36:00

I know what you mean smile.

In that case, please accept my apologies. I did not mean to suggest that and it came out all wrong. I only have one DC and sometimes find his demands a bit overwhelming.

No need to apologise at all grin

I need to listen to a random presentation about woodlice now grin (7 year olds are funny) smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now