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My son needs pottery training, sleep training and bloody food 'training' WWYD first

(86 Posts)
TheSecondComing Sat 09-Mar-13 22:01:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giraffesCantDateDucks Sun 10-Mar-13 00:38:07

Hope you get some sleep!

BertieBotts Sun 10-Mar-13 00:39:04

He's 2.6 and that is nothing! smile DS potty trained the Christmas before he started nursery (in the January term) - that was horribly stressful but in the end had to just let it happen. We also had massive will-only-poo-in-nappy issues, but luckily he was also a master of holding onto it for weeks so it wasn't a problem at nursery because he would always wait until he was at home to request a nappy. We went with that for a while and then bribery if he would sit on the toilet to do one. Eventually managed it. Now 4.5 and still has to be cajoled to poo anywhere other than home, but at least he does it.

Also only went into own full size single bed at 2.2/slept through the night at around 2.6, I used to lie with him until he fell asleep and then sneak out, but didn't put up with any messing around, so he learnt quickly to just lie down and go to sleep - took between 5 and 20 minutes so I didn't mind. Again now he has a kiss/cuddle and lights out and he's fine. If he woke in the night I used to call to him to come through to us (might be annoying for neighbours/wake whole house, but hey, so does crying) and that worked too - the little pattering of feet got progressively later and later until he was only coming in at 6am for a snuggle and he now sleeps through until 7 or 8 and just comes in to wake me up!

For food you need to read "My Child Won't Eat". smile

Catrin Sun 10-Mar-13 00:51:11

The food thing... completely normal, utterly irritating, may continue for some time yet. At least he eats. Do not worry any more than any other parent on that score.
Sleep... v tricky as he is sharing a room. Rapid return as pp have said. If dd is transferrable, maybe fall asleep in yours then move to her own bed once he is asleep? How amenable would he be to the whole clock that tells you when it's morning thing? If you can, try and do the sleep thing during a holiday so your dd not too broken if noone sleeps for a fortnight.

Toilet. He is not ready by the sound of it for poo. Tis perfectly normal that poo takes longer than wee. Unfortunately, he is a bit little to explain this to. Does he have a normal poo time? If you know he is going to go, could you whizz him round and catch poo in the toilet and push his willy down into the loo at the same time? Would he understand that if he poos like he has been then he needs to sit/use potty. have nappy?

Snazzynewyear Sun 10-Mar-13 01:02:56

Nursery toilet trained my DS, pretty much. So I would leave that alone for now. They will have seen plenty of 3 yos who still need training. Likewise many kids eat all sorts of food at nursery, copying their peers, that they won't touch at home. So definitely prioritize sleep. I know you said he can be militant but there must be something he loves that you could offer as the reward for going to bed in his own room?

differentnameforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 03:21:43

Don't give him a beaker of milk at night. He will be sipping it all night & it will do nothing for his teeth. Also, you want to get him out of this habit, don't you? Water, in a beaker next to his bed is all he gets.

Rapid return him. Take no shit. Move his sister out of the room for a few nights & go at it hard.

differentnameforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 03:26:37

If he kicks off re meals, don't draw attention to it, no naughty step. Give him what you want him to eat. Get on with your meal. Talk about anything except his eating habits. If he kicks off, ask him to leave the table so you can eat in peace/etc.

After everyone has finished, tell him you will leave his food on the table for an extra 20 minutes, but once that time is up dinner has finished. Remove food.

Offer him nothing else. Not a crumpet/toast/bread & butter at supper etc. He needs to know that if he doesn't eat his dinner, there will be no more food & he will go to bed hungry.

Moknicker Sun 10-Mar-13 03:44:08

OP your situation sounds very similar to the one I had with my DD (barring the pottery training) smile

She is asthmatic. When she was on prednisolone she was bouncing off the walls. We have finally got the asthma under control with the brown inhaler alone. Once that happened she started sleeping better. If not, she would wake up in the night with breathing difficulties.

So first part is get asthma under control with inhaled steroids. Under control means he doesnt need the ventolin more than once a week and certainly does not need oral steroids. Unless you are comfortable with the asthma control please dont do any sleep training, leaving him to cry etc as you dont know if he is in real distress or not.

Second part is to stop the night milk and snacks. If he asks for something, give him water. My DD was having a full glass of milk in the night and had less appetite as a result.

Once these two are done, you can do what other posters have said about getting the sleep under control.

I would only do the potty training in the summer once the weather improves so give it a little bit more time.

What about vitamin supplements for food?

Good luck OP.

3littlefrogs Sun 10-Mar-13 09:24:15

Moknicker is spot on. You have a poorly little boy whose medication is causing his sleep problems. Until you get his asthma under control, you won't be able to sort out anything else.

Breathing problems often get worse at night, so I would be worried about leaving him while his asthma is uncontrolled.

You might get more ideas if you post on a children's health topic. I know there are other mnetters with children with severe asthma.

poocatcherchampion Sun 10-Mar-13 10:19:34

how about putting his mattress on the floor in your room as a first stage to moving him out the bed.agree re getting more help to control the asthma, but might this be more manageable than trying to discipline him into staying in his own bed while he is possibly affected by inappropriate medication.

TheSecondComing Sun 10-Mar-13 11:00:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tieni Sun 10-Mar-13 11:01:26

I really sympathise but don't think you'll solve the sleep problems whilst he is on prednisolone. I've been on it quite a few times and it makes me totally hyper to the point I've been scrubbing skirting boards and painting walls at 3am blush. I have absolutely no experience of asthma but agree with the other posters that say to get his asthma under control before tackling sleeping as it's likely the medication is much to blame.

Re pottery grin training, DS nearly 3 will have his first attempt in a few weeks and he is already at preschool. With food we have found that not making an issue of it works best.

Hope you get things sorted out soon, lack of sleep is very draining.

GailTheGoldfish Sun 10-Mar-13 13:55:06

I just want to second what 3littlefrogs said about inhalers, I am asthmatic and was so poorly after having a cold recently. I was taking my blue inhaler 4 times a day as I was so short of breath, sleeping badly and my skin was terrible. I went to see the asthma nurse who gave me a brown inhaler to take twice daily and I am like a different person, I feel a hundred times better. Go and see whoever deals with the asthma as I'm sure this will make a difference. Good luck.

giraffesCantDateDucks Sun 10-Mar-13 15:04:54

TSC pred majorly affects appetite too! I would focus on asthma first - what sort of follow up is he getting? When is next resp clinic appointment? Maybe just tiny changes for now.

Iggly Sun 10-Mar-13 15:12:44

Potty training - wait a bit.

Food - give him snacks. Decent ones. And sit him down for meals but ignore. He might be waking up hungry at night - they need snacks at this age. You want him to eat.

As for bedtime - focus on getting him in bed at the start first. Set up camp in his room and stay until he sleeps. Repeat repeat repeat for night wakings (camp in his room. Then once he's staying in there, gradually withdraw.

Although if he's got asthma - you need to fix that. He won't be able to breathe properly at night and that might be why he wakes.

Yama Sun 10-Mar-13 15:28:37

We have a 2.6 year old ds who is the youngest. He started toilet training but a winter bug has thrown that plan right out of the window. I'm just going to wait for him to indicate that he's ready to start again. No rush.

I too can't get him to eat a varied diet. Luckily he follows the crowd at nursery and eats everything they give him. So, that a two course snack in the morning, two course lunch and a two course snack in the afternoon.

I am rubbish with sleep training but dh is very good. I leave it to him.

So, it would seem that I am, in fact, a bit rubbish and need to rely on others to train my dc. wink

TheSecondComing Sun 10-Mar-13 15:49:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker Sun 10-Mar-13 16:11:33

Is resigning yourself to him being in your bed an option?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 10-Mar-13 16:19:54

I think you should forget about him stopping his nap for the moment. If he is that knackered then he needs it, and it sounds as if it is his asthma not the fact that he isn't tired which is mucking up nights. Someone said upthread about

Is there anyone you can speak to before April? 4 hourly blue inhalers indicates badly controlled asthma and I would be really concerned about them wanting to reduce the steroids. I can see that they - and you - don't want him to have more of them than necessary, but the wheezing is also damaging.

Has he (and you) got hypoallergenic bedding?

stargirl1701 Sun 10-Mar-13 16:20:03

As others have said, I would focus on sleep and ignore the toilet and food.

I would speak to the asthma nurse as I think that the asthma is not under control if he needs his blue that often. I have asthma and find swimming helps a great deal. It would also make him more tired. Could you find time to take him swimming - ideally every day?

As for wakenings, how about rapid return?

I wish you luck! There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation (DD is 6 months old and giving us a run for our money!

3littlefrogs Sun 10-Mar-13 16:43:39

TBH I think you should forget dealing with everything else and get him back to a specialist regarding his asthma as a matter of urgency. I think all his problems stem from poorly controlled/uncontrolled asthma and it needs addressing asap.

seeker Sun 10-Mar-13 16:55:49

Differentnameforthis- we are talking about a 2 year old with asthma- not a bloody minded teenager!

LIZS Sun 10-Mar-13 16:58:49

Until he eats properly I think you'd have problems with both sleep and pott(er)y training . Certainly asthma may not be helping his appetite.

TheSecondComing Sun 10-Mar-13 17:07:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker Sun 10-Mar-13 17:19:57

And I really suggest taking all the pressure off eating. Give him what he'll eat. Don't stress about it, honestly. And let him have healthy snacks. Some toddlers are better off grazing. And if what's available to graze on is healthy, don't fret about it.

And make sure he has something carb heavy before bed. Warm milk and biscuits, or toast or cereal or something. I bet he's hungry.

He's only very little,you know!

TheSecondComing Sun 10-Mar-13 17:23:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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