Preschool 'friendship' problem

[rusty151]

Hi. My DD (4) and her friend, M, have known each other since birth. Her mum and I are old friends and have met up on a weekly basis since our little one's were born. The two girls are both really bright and seem to value eachother as friends (I'm aware that kids don't really form proper friendships until much later but you know what I mean).

Anyway, M is prone to over react to the smalles misdemeanour on my dd's part. I know dd is no angel, but over the course of a 3 hour play date she is accused of all sorts of naughtiness. I could deal with this quite easily if it weren't for the fact that M will burst into tears and run to her mum saying the most terrible things about DD even though both myself and her mum have witnessed the event. M's mum is very sympathetic to my dd and often says to her LO not to be silly and go back and play. However, my dd is really starting to feel the injustice of the situation. She has no problems with any other kids and socialises really well on the whole.

How do I advise her on how to deal with these situations when they arise? I'm tempted to say that M is just being silly and that she has done nothing wrong, but don't want to be going round calling other people's kids silly as it makes me sound like one of those mum's who thinks their child is unable to do anythnig wrong! Any advice?

[MrsMushroom]

It's not your job to adjust....as long as your DD is behaving, you have to trust your friend to deal with this phase in her DD's social development.

It may be that they won't get on as well as you hoped....in which case you may have to move to adult only meetings.

[anonymosity]

It sounds like your DD's friend is possibly attention seeking. And your friend may be indulging this, when you and DD are not around but pretending she's making a "fuss" when you are there, if that makes sense.

Can you play in a neutral place - like the park, or involve other children to balance things out a bit - maybe just to take the pressure off your DD a bit?