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DS having a hard time at football club

(9 Posts)
geo1000 Sun 03-Mar-13 19:28:38

My 7 y-o son has been playing football with a small, local team for a couple of years. In general he's a reasonably confident, out-going child. He's the team's back-up goalie, but it's a role he now dreads. The pressure of being a goalie (especially when they were all new to it and losing 10-0), was considerable. He always maintained when asked that he wanted to keep doing it. He's now asked to stop and I'm going to have a word with the coach.

The problem is that over the last couple of months his confidence has taken a real knock (not surprisingly, bless him!). He's become convinced that he's 'rubbish at all football, not just being a goalie', and hangs around on the pitch looking sad and not chasing the ball. Nothing we say or all the hugs we offer seem to have helped. I've been wracking my brains trying to think of a way to help him, as he's still keen to go, but he seems more down each week. Part of me thinks that he would probably lose interest naturally over the next few months, but I think he feels under pressure as they're a small team of his close friends and he's realised that if one child leaves there won't be enough to play matches. (Of course, we've stressed that this ISN'T his responsibility). Poor boy. It makes me sad to see him doing something he used to really enjoy, and now he's just trying to be very brave about it!).

dothraki Sun 03-Mar-13 19:34:45

Please speak to the coach. If your not happy with that then speak to the welfare officer. The coaches want children to enjoy themselves. I hope your son starts to enjoy it again soon.

PJM18 Sat 09-Mar-13 22:39:00

Hi. My son plays football too and it's become a bit of an anxiety as there have been quite a lot of times when he hasn't got started and I think it lowers his confidence quite a bit. Does yours on have to be the goalie or would he like to try a different position? It must be quite a responsibility being a goalie whereas you are less in the spotlight in ther positions.

MrsMushroom Sun 10-Mar-13 13:13:54

Isn't there some kind of thing where being the goalie isn't great? I may be wrong...but I thought being the goalie was the lease coveted role of's not fair if he's always the goalie basically.

lyndie Sun 10-Mar-13 13:18:03

At 7 I'm surprised they're playing matches. What type of club is it? My DS aged 8 does 1.5 hours on a Saturday, 1 hour of drills and ball skills, break and then a 'game' which is small sides, no goalkeepers and frequently switch teams. We're in Scotland and this is the SFA recommended program.

sannaville Sun 10-Mar-13 19:24:59

Aww bless him I know how he feels. My dd is nearly 9 and plays for a girls development centre. They had a match recently and she usually plays midfield but got shunted into goal for half a match she made some good saves but let two in and was in tears. It's a very hard role and they are either goalies or they're not end of. It does get easier as they get older but when my dd was 7 it seemed like everyone shouted at and blamed the goaly! Now they're older they don't do that at all but I still always feel for the goaly.

Tell your son it's never the goals fault always the defenders smile
Also have a word with the coach and let them know he's losing heart

DottyDot Sun 10-Mar-13 19:30:00

Awww - sympathy here too. Ds2 is 8 and is his team's goalie - and it's a real pressure gig! I tell him it's never his fault - if he lets in a goal it means the whole team hasn't done their job, not just him.

Poor thing gets nervous though - but still wants to keep going... Very tricky and I don't think ds2 will stick at it (or maybe it's just me hoping he doesn't!)

MrsMushroom Mon 11-Mar-13 07:37:24

Yes have a word with the coach and ensure the goalie's not getting the brunt of the dissapointment.

Mehrida Mon 11-Mar-13 09:49:59

If the coach is worth their salt they should have picked this up already, however it can be hard when there are so many kids to keep an eye on.

Definitely have a word with him/her though. Kids listen far more to their coaches/team mates than their parents in my experience.

I do a wee exercise at the end of our games where we get in qa circle and each player has to say one thing the person next to them did well, even if they've lost. You see the kids almost grow an inch when their turn comes round. The coach isn't that 'sort' of coach, maybe you could do it in the car on the way home/when the boys are round to play?

Finally, re: goalies... A good simple retort is 'well it only went past me cos it got past you'.

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