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Is this a normal two year old?

(17 Posts)
Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 17:30:54

I have 5 dc ranging from 27 to 2. I have experienced all the usual parenting battles but my 2 yr old seems so much worse.
I can hardly leave the house as she screams in the buggy but if I get her out she legs it big time, hangs off reins and her arm which worries me due to injury.
We don't bother to eat out anymore together as she won't eat, climbs on the table and chairs or just wants to run around.
Any holidays have been spent tired and stressed as she doesn't sleep well away from home or for weeks when we get home.
My dh works shifts so I'm on my own a lot but I usually love time on my own with the dc. I enjoy motherhood especially days out or having fun at home but its so hard to do with her.
Today I tried to go to town with her and dd1.
Not trailing around shops but just wanted to go to Primark and boots but also for lunch and the children's library. It was horrendous and horrible for poor dd1 who is 11.
In Pizza Hut she wouldn't eat or sit still,climbed on tables kicked the big glass window repeatedly screamed when I stopped her. Had to restrain her into the buggy then she screamed round town. Sun was shining everyone enjoying their weekend and I'm just striding along disparately. If I let her out if the buggy she does nothing she is told to and runs in front of people or just away from me then same struggle to get back in buggy. We haven't even got any tea as I couldn't go into a shop to get it.
At the moment she is watching tv but every time a programme ends she shouts at me about it.
She is funny and bright but this behaviour is spoiling her.
I really worry that she has problems.
Have wine and fags for later.
Is it normal and I was just really lucky with the others.

Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 17:32:25

Btw she is only just two.

HenD19 Sat 02-Mar-13 17:42:03

I feel your pain.y DS aged 2.3 is really hard work in lots of the ways you describe. I keep battling on though and hoping he'll turn a corner and start behaving properly in the next 10 weeks before my next DC is due....

Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 17:45:07

Thanks for replying. I am currently sat on the sofa being kicked and whipped with her cuddly. I have lost the will to do anything about it. I fe like a right twat sat here feeling bullied by my own daughter.
It's bloody awful isnt it?

RobinSparkles Sat 02-Mar-13 18:05:18

DD2 goes through phases like this - thankfully it's not all the time but it seems to be worse when she's ill ie has a cold or something like that.

I really sympathise as it's so exhausting! We can't go on leisurely trips around town anymore. She will NOT go in the pushchair - I can't physically get her in sad she kicks and goes stiff, arches her back. Luckily she will go on reins (we have one of those little back pack ones) but she'll kick and scream often to be carried. She also screams when it's cold but won't go in the pram where she'd be warm. School runs are a nightmare! She'll lie on the pavement kicking and tantruming, it's humiliating.

However, she behaved yesterday and it was amazing, although a man did pass me and say, "hello, I didn't recognise you without the crying and screaming!" blush

She's very stubborn too (takes after DH wink ). I'm hoping that it's a phase and they will mellow out soon? probably when they get to school.

tacal Sat 02-Mar-13 18:10:57

Hiya, I can relate to what you are saying. My ds was like this at 2. He is 4 now and much, much better but still can not stay still for long. He jumps, runs, spins alot. I used to hate eating out but we can just about manage it now. I still find holidays exhausting but we are getting there. I do not know if this behaviour is normal or not because I only have one dc. Problems with repetitive behaviour appeared when my ds was 2.5 and this has not gone away so he is due to be seen at a multi disciplinary clinic which will check all aspects of his behaviour. From what people say I think the difficult type of behaviour you mention can be normal. It is exhausting and often I am relieved when ds is in bed so I can get a little bit of peace and quiet. I hope you enjoy your wine and fags later!

NaturalBaby Sat 02-Mar-13 18:35:02

Is she like this all the time? One of my ds's has always been very manic and loud but has enough moments of sitting still and quiet concentrating on something to normalise the manic moments!

Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 18:48:06

Yes she does go through phases of being ok but there's always something. Didn't sleep that well until nearly two and not a good napper or eater. I shouldn't compare her I know but the others were so laid back.
robin she is defo worse when has a cold and she has one now.
I feel so sad sometimes cos she is my last baby and I've really not enjoyed it much sad

Corygal Sat 02-Mar-13 18:51:32

Well, one of my DNephews was like this, and he was later diagnosed with ADHD. Which is now entirely under control and he's fine, so not that much of a big deal.

But I would suggest that it will prob wear off - you only need to worry if she starts school and remains maniacal.

Enjoy the wine

Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 18:57:44

Thanks <takes a big gulp> it does help to know I'm not alone.
It will all seem in perspective tomorrow. Dh is off tomorrow so I'm escaping for a bit.
Oh she falls over a lot too, is that a sign of anything?

ShowOfHands Sat 02-Mar-13 19:04:58

DS has been a big shock after DD. With DD I used to say 'no, the oven is hot, do not go near it' and she'd never touch the oven again. You say this to DS, you get as far as 'no, the...' before you abort all communication attempts in favour of removing the cat which ds has just shoved in the oven, lifting him down from the hob where he has somehow clambered and all while crying over dinner which somehow he frisbee'd into the bin during the cat deposit and worktop clambering. He runs and climbs and bolts and bashes and bangs. He's only 18mo though. It's worse when he's tired/hungry/ill/teething and at other times he's perfectly biddable and kind. Usually when there's no danger present. If he can run at a car or fall under something which will trap him then he will.

There are signs that he is improving. In the last few weeks instead of signalling the end of dinnertime by throwing his dinner at me/dd/the cat, he will hand his plate to me and say 'thank you mama'. This is a major breakthrough and it's these small triumphs I hang onto.

He is a bright, funny wee thing but needs constant management. DD was trustworthy, biddable and even tempered, never tantrummed and was utterly easy to parent. DS I know nothing about. Yesterday I said no to him touching DH's hammer. He has not forgotten this. At every available opportunity he screeches for dh's "AAAAMMMMEEEERRRR" and bashes something in protest. I know him, he will not give up and forget about it. When I'm on my knees with fatigue and sobbing in 3 days time, I'll let him hold it and then sob more because I've given in to it. He has a toy hammer btw but apparently "no dat ammer, dada ammer". Because with dh's hammer he can break everything I own and that's the ultimate goal.

I'm teetotal and I don't smoke. I'm not sure what vice to take up but I need something.

RobinSparkles Sat 02-Mar-13 19:17:20

Show, I turn to chocolate - although not great for the old waistline sad. I do drink but not that often as it doesn't agree with me (can get pissed of just a sniff) and then DD2 is bound to be a nightmare the day I have a hangover!

DD1 was also really easy as a baby/toddler. Isn't that strange? She would sit nicely in her pram and we could go for meals. She would sit and smile and everybody, you could almost forget that she was there!

RobinSparkles Sat 02-Mar-13 19:18:57


Maryz Sat 02-Mar-13 19:24:36

Ledkr, ds1 was very difficult at that age, and I found this book really great.

It was all about identifying which parts of a child's behaviour and make-up made them challenging to manage, and also talked about fit between family and child, and how to recognise and manage individual behaviours.

I found that when I took a step back and dealt with one or two behaviours at a time, while trying to understand why he behaved as he did, it was much easier for all of us.

She is your youngest, and is probably desperately trying to keep up with the older ones - which is a sign of intelligence as well as difficulty grin

Corygal Sat 02-Mar-13 19:24:57

Take it easy Ledkr. God, they can be hardcore at that age. Keep calm and wine

Norem Sat 02-Mar-13 19:28:38

Get her ears checked, my ds was a misery guts and fell over a lot.
He had recurrent ear infections, massive tonsils, slept poorly, rubbish eater.
Tonsils adenoids removed just before 3 yrs of age. Much nicer child now, sleep and eats well. Behaviour not perfect but much improved.

Ledkr Sat 02-Mar-13 21:19:51

Thanks to you all. So helpful as ever.
showy your dd sounds incredibly intelligent for his age. All those sentences. I have the daily battle with my I phone and like you say I give in for a quiet life in the end. In rare moments I've considered buying her one hmm
maryz ill look at the book thanks. Like you I've had all my child problems when they are teens, maybe she'll be saintly then!
norem I could slap myself reading your post.
Dd was born with a cleft palate now repaired but has recently been tested and does have some low level hearing loss from fluid behind the ear so that might explain a lot especially as she gets worse when has a cold.
I'm going to call the cleft team on Monday for a chat about it.
She's just been really sweet. Had a late sleep so I didn't rush bed but then she was putting her head on my shoulder and trying to go to sleep.
So cute.

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