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Come tell me dd isn't really behind for her age...

(111 Posts)
BeaWheesht Fri 01-Mar-13 17:32:19

Tool dd to doctors today as she's been unwell - when nurse listened to her tummy she was aghast to see she's still in nappies and told dd she was far too old to be wearing nappies.

Dd is 2y5m - I had planned on potty training at the start of January but we've all been ill with various things since then.

So, tell me, is she really 'far too old' ????

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 01-Mar-13 19:07:03

'She asked to go back in a nappy to do a poo'

That's quite common. It doesn't mean she wasn't ready.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 01-Mar-13 19:09:52

'Did you read my post? It took US a couple of weeks. I just didn't consider it an "effort" '

If this is to me. Yes I read your post. I quoted the bit I was responding to in my post.

akaemmafrost Fri 01-Mar-13 19:12:43

Well you clearly didn't get my meaning so I will explain.

Friends have mine have been "training" their children for months, in their late twos, becoming very stressed about it. THAT'S what I call an effort. If you're in that situation, they're not ready. Two weeks to me is NOT an effort but to be expected. I was pretty surprised at how easy the process was tbh.

CommanderShepard Fri 01-Mar-13 19:17:53

What a total pile of (nappy-contained) shit! Your DD sounds fine to me and better to wait until she's definitely ready.

Did she pick up on what the nurse said? I can see how it could be very hurtful to a toddler.

DukeSilver Fri 01-Mar-13 19:23:14

I don't think its late. DD started at about 2.4yo and was the first of her similarly aged friends to be out of nappies. Many of them are still not potty trained and they are nearly 3 now. It doesn't seem late to me at all.

BeaWheesht Fri 01-Mar-13 19:25:09

I don't know if she picked up on it tbh, I hope not.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Fri 01-Mar-13 19:28:57

we didn't start training dd1 until two weeks before her third birthday
she was reliably dry by 3
lots of people i know started potty training at two and a bit
their DC were reliably dry by 3 as well. but mostly not before then. and i spent a lot less time mopping up piss.

dd2 is 2.4. we might think about starting over the summer. but no rush.

MidnightMasquerader Fri 01-Mar-13 19:36:51

Gosh, don't worry about it.

Some people get so opinionated on this topic, and love to clutch their pearls at the way other people do things. Odd.

DS was 3.3 when we did him. We emigrated when he was 2.3 and had a couple of house moves after that, so wanted to be relatively stable when we eventually did do it.

I used the Gina Ford method - am not a Gina Ford type at all - but thoroughly recommend her for potty training. Essentially, you make a decision to go for it, do a little bit of preparatory work, and then follow through, unless your child absolutely show signs of not being ready. DS was dry in a couple of days, but really, really struggled with No. 2.

After several weeks of this, I decided to try to train DD who was 2, and seemed ready. Probably because she'd been watching her brother. Again, used the Gina Ford method, and she was trained fully in about 3 days - wees and poos. And as I hoped, it all clicked into place for DS too.

Nobody fully understand your individual child and family situation, and all the other things going on in your life - and so to come out with blanket statements like 'lazy parenting' if you haven't nailed it by X age, is honestly so unhelpful. Ignore people like this. smile

MidnightMasquerader Fri 01-Mar-13 19:40:00

And also, the scare-mongerers, who'd be 'so worried' shock if their child wasn't trained by X age.

Again, ignore them. It'll all turn out just fine.

scottishmummy Fri 01-Mar-13 19:45:40

It's not baby Olympics first to Poop in potty Achieves in Life
We didn't potty train til 3yrs old,when Clearly ready and Happy to
Cracked it with no problems in few days

Iseeall Fri 01-Mar-13 19:47:39

Your dd is normal please do not worry. Do not bother to start potty training until its warmer, so much easier to leave off layers of clothes and lo can sit on the potty as much or as little as they/you like.

teresa2003 Fri 01-Mar-13 19:51:10

Really would not worry about this. My ds nursery use to tell me they were "very concerned"about the fact that he still had nappies on at 2.5 & also about the fact that he would often refuse to even sit on a potty (which he use to do with me as well!)
Anyway soon after he decided that nappies were for "babies" and said he wanted "big boy pants".He never had any accidents unless he was unwell.And hardly ever wet the bed either. So all of ds nurseries "concerns" were completley unfounded.

MajaBiene Fri 01-Mar-13 20:12:42

Everyone I know who has potty trained has started between about 23 months and 2.8 years and it has taken between a couple of days and a couple of months. I don't buy this "even if you start at 2 they won't be reliable til 3" nonsense.

Katnisscupcake Fri 01-Mar-13 20:17:09

I'm nother sure that I agree with the waiting to see if children are ready.

Dh and I booked a week off in the October after dd turned 2 and just decided to stay at home and give it a go. Let her run around with no pants on and dotted potties around. Told her that it was like the toilet that mummy and daddy used and that she was a big girl and needed to do poos and wees in them.

That week she had two accidents on the first day and one on the second day. 18 months on and she's never had an accident. She was night trained 2 weeks later.

So whether you think they are showing signs or not (dd wasn't), let them have a go. If it doesn't work in that week, try again in a few months.

As far as the OP goes, 2.5 is definitely still within the timeframe of all the kids I know that were potty trained. The nurse was talking rubbish...

CecilyP Fri 01-Mar-13 20:20:46

The nurse was talking nonsense - where on earth did she get her ideas from. Around 2.5 you might just be starting to think about taking DD out of nappies but she is definitely not 'far too old' to be in nappies IYSWIM. How ridiculous.

Smudging Fri 01-Mar-13 20:27:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Corygal Fri 01-Mar-13 20:32:35

DN didn't make it till he was 4, but his sister trained herself at 2.

Tsk, a lot of fuss about nothing ver' much.

MidnightMasquerader Fri 01-Mar-13 20:39:39

But so what Maja? You do it your way, and let others do it theirs.

DD was trained at 2 (i.e. just after her birthday) and was reliable from then on in. But she's just one, individual child. I'm sure not all are exactly like her.

I really don't understand what people who come on and be all faux shocked and disapproving on threads like these hope to achieve. Other than to make people feel bad...

Bumpsadaisie Fri 01-Mar-13 21:21:58

??? Am genuinely baffled by this.

IME it is normal to start at about 2.5. My son was born when DD was that age, so we started at 2.7. She was fully dry and clean day and night by her third birthday.

ZPRB Sat 02-Mar-13 22:06:37

It's nonsense to have a 'one age' fits all attitude. We trained my DS from 2.8 and tbh at the age of 4 can still have accidents but was mostly reliable from 3.2 whereas my DD was fully trained by 2 with no accidents at all. I applied the same method to both and tbh I wished I'd waited with DS until he was really ready for it - it's just stressful for you & them. As my mum once said to me by the time they start school they are walking, talking, no bottles or dummy's and toilet trained! Does it matter at what age?!

girlsyearapart Sat 02-Mar-13 22:17:52

I am glad you posted this op as someone may be able to give me some advice..
Dd3 is 2.7 and decided she didn't want nappies anymore just after Christmas.
All ok some days no accidents.
Wee nearly always on the potty/toilet but poo much worse.

She seemed to have turned a corner last week we had 5 days with no poo accidents & 4 con

girlsyearapart Sat 02-Mar-13 22:20:33

.. Completely dry & now she has gone right back to the beginning and is pooing and weeing in her pants without a care in the world..
What to do next? I ended up putting a nappy on her again today I am really fed up of cleaning poo off her legs & clothes (and fending ds 14 m away from it..)

She obviously can do it but has decided not to bother anymore.

(Sorry to hijack and yanbu by the way)

willowthecat Sun 03-Mar-13 13:52:38

Maybe the nurse thought OP's dd was much older than 2.5 as it can be hard to judge an age in the pre school range as 'aghast' seems an extreme reaction to a 2.5 in nappies - ds1 has significant additional needs but was still trained at just after age 4 so even I would be a bit surprised to see typical child in nappies at that age but certainly not at 2.5 !

girlsyearapart Sun 03-Mar-13 16:23:25

But she would ve known the age as she examined her surely? So would've seen the notes etc

Kiwiinkits Sun 03-Mar-13 19:49:46

I think it's lazy not to train a child before 3. And I think it creates all sorts of toilet "isshoes" and confusion. We expect a child to use a fork, a cup, get themselves dressed, have manners, do puzzles etc, but not go to the toilet? WTF!? The plastic nappy companies have done so well creating false demand for nappies, haven't they.

So, IMO, it's time to start. Nurse was right.

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