advice on 18mo DS feeding to sleep and moving house/into his own bedroom?

[Honesttodog]

Feeling pretty down after reading a baby book, Ds has been fed to sleep up till now and I have been too tired/lazy to sort it out

We are moving house soon and my plan was to try to crack it once we were in the new place.

However, I am now a bit worried that just after the move is completely the wrong time to implement new sleep strategy, new routine etc as he will be a bit freaked out being in a different house anyway... plus he will be waking up in a new environment and probably even more likely to stay awake and wail till I come to him!

His current pattern is being fed a bottle, and being put in cot either drowsy or totally asleep. He normally wakes about 1130 or later to come into our bed and want to be right next to me in the bed. He often wakes again wanting more milk.

He has just started proper walking (long stretches across the room, down the road to playground etc) and is eating ENORMOUS amounts, so am not sure what to do about his nighttime hunger. He does seem genuinely hungry but I think it's actually his deeply entrenched habit of suckling to sleep

Am seriously depressed at the thought of sleep training but something really needs to change now.

I think I am goign to bite the bullet and start tonight. I will give bottle downstairs and read a story upstairs. Will then leave him awake in cot.

Do you think I go in to reassure every 5 -10 min or just leave him initially for 10 min... ? Or just close the door after telling him it's bedtime and be more strict? I don't want to go in if it will make things worse...

Tried to call millpond to get some tips but the office was closed.

I really have to do something as DH and I need to stop having him in our bed and the night waking/feeding is getting worse.

WE did drop his daytime milk recently in order to cut down on the number of bottles, he is one 1 9oz bottle in the eve, sometime an extra 4 oz during the night, and he sometimes has 4oz in a soft teat sippy cup at nap time during a day. Normally 1 nap per day, about 1.5 hrs.

Any tips???? Please please help I really jsut need some reassurance!

[Honesttodog]

bump. ds now screaming after layiing him down drowsy and peaceful. Did bottle downstairs and read him a story upstairs.

[Honesttodog]

I cuddled him for a few min after the story till he was calm. He stopped crying after about 7-8 min.

Problem is coping with night waking now. He sleeps in our room in a travel cot next to our bed. DD too noisy to share with him.

I think he wakes because he knows I'm right there. Will just persevere with improving the falling asleep bit first and see how it goes.

will also focus on same order for routine and trying to get him down nice and early too.

[Iggly]

Why are you doing it now? Why not wait?

For the night waking, try cutting down his bottle by a few ounces a night so he gradually gets used to less milk over time.

Could you be waking him at night?

How noisy is your dd?

[PoppyWearer]

FWIW we found that 11mo DC1 slept better after we moved house - she finally had her own room. We continued feeding to sleep for a few more months.

[GingerPCatt]

If he's in a travel cot, you could try moving it a bit closer to his room and away from your slowly each night. The softly softly approach of slow change works with my DS.

[Honesttodog]

iggly - we are totally fed up of having him in our room and in our bed every night. He is starting to wake more after he comes in with us and I don't sleep brilliantly either.

I really struggle with the not feeding at night. Problem is he wants to suck, it's not that he needs the milk, I am convinced it's the sucking that sends him to sleep. I am going to keep a watered down (50:50) bottle next to the bed tonight and he can have that if he wakes in the night. I really want him to stay in the cot and not come in the bed so we can all have a better night's sleep.

ginger - we have no option re: shifting his travel cot gradually, in this house we dont' have enough space.

I do plan to put him straight into his own room once we have moved. I would rather reassure him in HIS room rather than in mine. Really hope it improves things!!

[Honesttodog]

DD likes to read to herself and sing before falling asleep and that is usually after DS goes to sleep, so I have no idea how to get the 2 of them falling asleep on their own in the same room. DD just appears not to need much sleep, after 4 years I have had to accept this! she struggles with being quiet, sharing just would not work.

[Iggly]

I just wonder if you're setting yourself up for more stress here. If you're moving then why not wait?

[Honesttodog]

just had a quick chat with millpond

they say better to sort sleeping problems out before the move

we are a bit desperate now, really fed up of his waking up every night
fed up of needing to feed him at night
fed up with having his cot in our room
fed up of having no cuddle/reading/alone time as a couple
etc etc

I honestly thought i would have been able move him into DD's room by now, but I just think they would keep each other awake.

[Iggly]

Why not try them in the same room? My friend puts her little one to bed first, then the eldest falls asleep in their room and carries her into the shared room. Could you try that?

[Honesttodog]

Dd loves her room and being in her own bed, having her books etc. With house move looming I don't think it's worth trying.

[Iggly]

Ok. Well I hope the sleep training goes well. It's a horrible feeling when they won't sleep properly.

[BinarySolo]

Will he suck a dummy? I know my ds refused but if it's a sucking action soothing him then it might be worth introducing one at night. My ds is 21 months and still come into our bed but we stopped night feeds. We just went cold turky. First night was the worst as he cried for 30 mins twice but the time lessened an after 3 nights he settled himself if he woke. If he ever tries to breastfeed at night I just say calmly, no we don't do that anymore sweetie. Seems to be working.

Next step for us will be getting him to stay in his own bed.