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Behaviour/development

Sudden seperation anxiety in an almost 3 year old?

2 replies

harverina · 22/02/2013 23:03

Hi there,

My almost 3 year old goes to her gran and a childminder while I work. She spends 2 days with granny and 1 day with her childminder. This has been the arrangement for 2 years.

All of a sudden last week my DD started to cry hysterically when I leave her. She is even starting to get anxious in the morning when she wakens, asking me where she is going today and saying that she wants to stay home with mummy. When we arrive at grans or the childminders, she clings to me and gets pretty hysterical and screaming that she doesnt want me to go and that she wants to go home. It breaks my heart.

Is this fairly common or should I be worried? I can honestly not think of anything that has happened to prompt this. She got time out for the first time at her childminders a few weeks ago, but at the time she didnt seem bothered.

We moved house approx. 4 months ago too, but she seemed to cope really well with this and loves her new room etc.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks :)

OP posts:
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paranoid2android · 23/02/2013 05:18

Hi harverina it could be the move, that even though she's happy about it it still is a big change for her to get used to. it's bringing up some big feelings that make her want to cling to you for safety!
Crying is the way we naturally process our feelings and release emotional tension. Tears contain the stress hormone cortisol. If you can stay a while at granny's and/or the child minders and listen to her cry, staying close to her then shell get a chance to shed some of these feelings and be back to her confident self in no time.
We have a tendency as parents to try everything we can to stop our children crying as quickly as possible , but this interrupts their natural healing process . If you or gran or child minder have the time to listen to a few big cries she'll probably be fine with being left again.

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Emmie412 · 23/02/2013 11:40

Children can react to the smallest of things. My DD who is a total non-napper gets distressed if napping is even mentioned. Nursery picked up on this and now they know not to put her down with the others but leave her with a book instead.

I think something has happened but it can be a fairly small thing that to an adult mind would seem insignificant but to her is massive.

Have you tried asking her?

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