Problems with my 3.3 year old

[KellyElly]

My DD, since Christmas, has started having terrible tantrums if she can't get her own way or if she gets punished for something. She hits, bites and kicks me (fortunately it's only me she does it to, not other children at nursery).

As an example, I got home from work last night and I needed to pop to the shop so asked her to put her shoes on and she refused and said she was playing, I asked her again and took them over to her and she threw them, I said if you do that again you'll get straight in your PJ's and be put to bed. She looked at me and did it again so I started to get her ready for bed and the tantrum started - pinching me, slapping my face and kicking me in the ribs. I told her I was putting her in the bedroom for time out until she calmed down but she just kept running out screaming and trying to hit me. It ended yo with me having to restrain her to get her PJs on and put her to bed still screaming blue murder and trying to hit and kick as much as she could.

If anyone has any advice on how to handle this I'd be really grateful. I have tried star charts, taking treats away, distraction and I always follow through on a punishment - this is usually what kicks off the tantrums BIG time.

If it's just her age and I'm over reacting please tell me. I'm a lone parent and I think maybe I'm getting worked up because it's just me to deal with it and that it's just a phase or something??? She only behaves like this with me so friends and family look at me as in disbelief as they only see her being good - a bit spirited at times but not the tantrums.

[hereagain99]

Hi KellyElly, I has just post an identical post. I am separated too living with DP, DD is 3.5 years old and we are having exactely the same in this house since Christmas too .

Unfortunately I don't have any adviceas we have tried everything too and nothin seems to work, it just makes things even worse.

I am writing to you so you know that you are not alone even though it doesn't change the situation. I will keep an eye on your post.

Good luck

[KellyElly]

hereagain99 good (well not good but you know what I mean) to know someone else is going through the same thing. I started to think - I'm I spoiling her, somehow teaching this behaviour, too soft, too strict? It's also very draining and a real challenge to keep your temper when your child is lashing out at you like this.

[hereagain99]

I know, at the moment she is by my side screaming and hitting me while I try very hard to ignore it nd keep posting in mumsnet. An hour ago I asked her to go for a wee and she didn't now she is shouting that she needs a wee but she will not go. If I tell her go to the toilet for the wee she will carry on screaming saying that she doesn't need a wee. It seems like if she needs a reason to scream/shout at me. Weird

[KellyElly]

hereagain99 Let's hope it's just their age and by four they'll be better behaved. My DD didn't really have the terrible two's, the three's have made up for it though!

[hereagain99]

For DD it seems a very long terrible two's She has always had a very strong personality

[hereagain99]

Sometimes I worry what the neighbours may think. Lucking for us one of the neighbour look after DD sometimes and she always says that she is very good and a pleasure to be with

[KellyElly]

That's what my child minder, family and the nursery say too! Tbh she is good a lot of the time with me but it's just if she's asked to do something she doesn't want to do or punished for being naughty or god forbid asked to leave somewhere she wants to stay then the gates of hell open lol.