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14mo having mini tantrums and I have no idea how to deal!

(7 Posts)
HarderToKidnap Mon 11-Feb-13 00:08:19

My 14mo DS was, until last week, the most gorgeous happy enchanting little boy, content, settled, busy, smiley and lovely. This week, if you take something away from him that he wants, or even for no discernible reason, he has a tantrum! Makes a strange squealing growling screamy noise, goes bright red, paws at his own face and sometimes goes rigid and falls back. It's generally over within a minute or two. Cuddling doesn't help, talking doesn't help. I've been going quiet/ignoring and cuddling him when he's finished, or trying to distract which does sometimes work. Is this the right thing to do? TBH my instinct is to give the forbidden item straight back just to stop the noise! I don't though.

I have noticed a link with tiredness and have reinstated a short morning nap and he was better today. But it's so OFTEN (like fifteen times a day) and so SUDDEN. How should I deal with them?

fishcalledwonder Mon 11-Feb-13 00:29:38

DD is 15mo and has just started throwing a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. Like your DS, she gets over it quickly.

No idea what the 'correct' way to deal with it is, but I don't think there is much you can do at this age. They can't communicate their needs or wants and this must be frustrating for them.

I try to avoid a tantrum happening in the first place so, for example, keep my phone and ipad out of sight as she isn't allowed them. If she has a noisy strop, I'll either distract her or, if it isn't a problem, let her have what she wants. So a strop because she wants to hold my purse (her current obsession) while we are at home: she can have the purse. A strop for the same reason while we're out and there's the possibility she might drop it: distract with any means possible! If thatvdoesn't work, i just cuddle her until she's finished. I pick my battles!

Sorry, no answers I'm afraid, but I feel your pain!

Neiffer Mon 11-Feb-13 07:36:36

My 13 mth old has started doing the same thing, with full on throwing himself on the floor and rolling around screaming. I have to stop myself laughing half the time. My current tactic is to ignore if over something silly eg turning Thomas the tank engine off. If he gets worse (sometimes he forgets what he's stropping about and gets really upset) then ill distract first then comfort. Again, no idea if that's right but works for us right now x

exoticfruits Mon 11-Feb-13 07:44:12

Ignore- pay attention when they stop. It is a phase. You really can't appease it because at that age they can tantrum because they got a red plate instead of a blue plate and if you then give them a blue plate they still tantrum!

BusyTiredAndLoveIt Mon 11-Feb-13 07:47:33

Toddler Taming by Dr Green is an amazingly helpful book.

Easy to read with small ish chapters.

But the gust if it is 'ignore bad behaviour, praise the good'

Believeitornot Mon 11-Feb-13 07:48:06

They don't tantrum for manipulative reasons.

They can't express themselves, they get tired easily so they flip out.

I know people think its hmm but teach your baby how to communicate with you. So dd (14 months) and ds (who's now 3) could sign things like food/drink etc etc which made life so much easier. Dd can tell me if she wants more, if she wants a drink, if she wants a book etc.

HarderToKidnap Mon 11-Feb-13 11:25:56

Thanks everyone! Good to know I'm not the only clueless one... I definitely pick my battles and only remove/don't let him have something if it's really dangerous or breakable... the main culprits are my glasses and knives when I'm cooking (he reaches up for the knife and screamy grunts blue murder!) I'm worried because my friend has a 3yo and her tantrums are really ruling and occasionally ruining their lives, they are miserable 90% of the time and I was dreading that being the case for us...

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