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DS Keeps having 'sad days' .... I'm heartbroken

(20 Posts)
Shaiandbump Thu 07-Feb-13 21:50:37

Okay so I've been debating with myself .. Should I type something... Am I just being silly...

DS is nearly 5, Hes in reception.
At the start of reception he brought along all his old nursery habits like poor listening, being hyperactive ( nursery teacher didn't say that but kept calling me in every week to tell me he does things at a fast pace often knocking other children down in the process) poor motor skills, and only having an interest in counting. He would often just go for a wonder round when it was story time.

So, he has had the same target since nursery ' to write his name properly'. I was concerned with his lack of interest in writing but nursery assured me it was perfectly normal .
In reception it appears to be a major concern.
His reception teacher is lovely and I'm happy she's told me about her concerns. It seems DS complains about his hand hurting and getting tired quite a lot when they ask him to write some letters. I'll try to explain the best way I can ... His letters are very 'sqiggly' as in he can't do one plain straight line.
He often says he can't do it because he notices all the other children doing it neatly and he can't.
Along with his previous habits these were the only concerns. I took them all seriously and decided to do something about it.
I must say this was in September/October 2012.

Fast forward to January 2013.
DS has come on leaps and bounds with his school work, they often ask me if there's anything going on at home because of his great enthusiasm (sp) to write everything down along with sounding everything out and having excellent reading and comprehension skills. This all makes me so proud of him considering a few months ago I was asked to contact my HV to give him an assessment because there must be something wrong with him.

Being a proud mother I take credit for his improved school work as a couple times a week we sit down and I tell him he can do it and he is so clever and his handwriting is excellent. This seems to really work and I've brought him a 5-6 year old maths book which he loves doing. He asks me to do it every day despite me saying he can go and play.

Now DS keeps on improving Hes lost all his friends at school. He comes home quite down and says no one wants to Play with him anymore. And he keeps having 'sad' days where he plays all by himself. I do ask why he thinks his friends don't want to play with him he says because he keeps falling over and he can't stop it .
I've asked him if he likes going to school and he says yes because he likes writing stories about spideman and Ben 10 but he doesnt like it when no one wants to play with him. I am absoulutely heart broken.
Is this a phase? He's gone from not listening and having the whole class as friends to really improving his work and having no friends ? Does anyone think this is related? Am I being completely stupid ? It is keeping me up all night hoping and praying tomorrow will be a 'good day'

Is anyone still awake after reading my life story ?

Zappo Thu 07-Feb-13 22:11:56

I don't know what to say apart from have a word with the teacher and tell them your concerns. It may be that children are playing with him but he remembers the one time of day, no one wanted to play. My DD used to come back every day saying people kept being mean to her and I did ask the teacher if this was true and she said she would have a word wiith my DD.

She doesn't say it any more and seems to have friends.

I suppose what I'm saying is that quite often a child will say that noone wants to play with them but very often this is not the case. The teachers will be able to let you know the truth.

It sounds as if your son is doing well but do you think he is getting so serious about his work that he stays in the classroom rather than going out to play during free play(don't know if they have the option to go outside or stay in as I'm not entirely sure how it works in reception despite have a reception aged child myself)

ControlGeek Thu 07-Feb-13 22:12:07

Aww I didn't want to read and run, it sounds really hard for you and your ds. I don't really have any practical advice, but could he maybe try an out of school activity so that he can maybe make friends with common interests?

When he says they don't want to be friends because he falls over a lot, is that just him covering up his hurt feelings for the real reason, or does he genuinely fall?

You have done fab, by the way, in getting his skills up the way you have.

mummytime Thu 07-Feb-13 22:24:40

Does he fall over a lot? If so go to see your GO and ask to be referred incase it is dyspraxia. If it is there are things he can do to improve, quite often dyspraxic kids can have a problem with personal space which can cause issues with other kids.

I would also go and talk to the teacher, there is more to school than just academic learning.

FredWorms Thu 07-Feb-13 22:35:15

D'you know, this sounds just like me when DS was in reception. He just didn't seem to "fit", somehow. Same things as your DS; lack of attention, abysmal handwriting, no friends, also deeply un-sporty.

He's 13 now and I wish I han't worried so as I'm sure I passed some of my anxiety on to him. I thought he had dyspraxia at one stage (he doesn't).He didn't start to enjoy school until about Y5. He still doesn't fit, whatever that means, but lordy I'm proud of him. He's happy, he has few friends but a couple of good ones (both girls, incidentally), and he's getting excellent grades at school.

Please try not to worry. Even the friends thing is normal at this early stage. DS used to tell me how he sat on the "friendship bench", alone, but nobody came. (Bloody friendship bench). Forget the extra school work, reassure him, invite friends over, and above all don't worry. He sounds perfectly normal to me. smile

FredWorms Thu 07-Feb-13 22:36:18

Well, whatever "normal" means, and my DS is a pretty unusual gauge! grin

mercibucket Thu 07-Feb-13 22:39:20

hiya, did anyone ever check for dyspraxia or hypermobility if his hand really does tire easily and he keeps falling over?

Shaiandbump Thu 07-Feb-13 22:41:35

He does fall over all the time, even when he's suppose to be standing still.
Teacher did ask me to go and get an assessment done but GP has fobbed me off 3 times saying '' if he's clumsy there's nothing I can do, I can't give him medicine for it'
insensitive bitch

Will try some after school clubs
It just makes me want to sob when he comes home saying he's had a sad day poor little thing.
Also I'm gonna try the teacher again she seems to always feel sorry for me as I'm trying to rush him into school waddling like a teletubby

Hangingbellyofbabylon Thu 07-Feb-13 22:44:39

sounds very much like my dd who has dyspraxia and hypermobility in fingers which causes her hand to tire easily. She has had problems with friends as she falls over loads and often bumps into other children sad I'd start with a visit to your GP to ask for a referral as it would seem worthwhile getting checked out.

Shaiandbump Thu 07-Feb-13 22:46:19

Thanks for the replies
fred glad your DS is doing so well, smile

My teacher used to make me stand up in front of the class and say who wants to play with me as no one played with me yesterday


Hangingbellyofbabylon Thu 07-Feb-13 22:47:46

Horrid GP, not good enough. Is there a different GP in the practice you could see? also try health visitor or even ask to see the school nurse who can also refer you. Sounds so similar to my dd at that age (now 8)- they come across as really annoying children who just can't seem to stand still and listen. My dd is ace at Maths too but can not really get herself dressed without something being inside out or back to front!

mummytime Thu 07-Feb-13 22:55:18

Demand a referral. Teachers in my experience are far more sensitive nowadays. Lots of schools have a friendship bench or bus stop, where pupils can go and others are encouraged to ask them to play.

FredWorms Thu 07-Feb-13 23:08:24

But you say his handwriting is excellent, right? Do be wary of latching onto the dyspraxia thing and searching for a diagnosis. I spent hours, I searched websites, I bought books - and all for a boy who's just clumsy, uncoordinated and totally crap at handwriting. He still falls over. In fact I suppose my DS may indeed be mildly dyspraxic, but I really don't think it would have helped to know that.

mercibucket Thu 07-Feb-13 23:14:36

well yes, that is another option, but it didnt work too well for dsis or dbro who just have low self esteem from thinking they were clumsy and lazy until diagnoses in adulthood

mercibucket Thu 07-Feb-13 23:16:45

i see where you are coming from tho, fred, and yes, internet diagnosis is something to avoid, but its worth making the gp check it out if it hasnt been ruled out yet

Shaiandbump Thu 07-Feb-13 23:18:30

His handwriting isnt excellent but it has improved from made up squiggly lines to being legiable which I am delighted about.
DP Thinks its because he's left handed (really?)

Shaiandbump Thu 07-Feb-13 23:19:04

Sorry for my spelling it's this horrible iphone

Shaiandbump Thu 07-Feb-13 23:26:56

I've banned myself from googling 'symtoms of ...'
According to google I should have been dead about. 7 times.
Pregnant lady + google = no one in this house is sleeping until I've got answers lady

mummytime Thu 07-Feb-13 23:41:08

Don't goggle Dyspraxia, but as someone who believes they are dyspraxic I would have valued a diagnosis as a child. It would have explained: why it took me several attempts to pass my driving test, struggled with dancing, and when under stress tend to break things.

ESussex Fri 08-Feb-13 18:51:44

As soon as I read your post I thought 'dyspraxia'. It may well not be but pressurise your gp for an assessment where they can diagnose or rule it out. I was diagnosed in secondary school, and I got support in various ways throughout my education. It beats being the clumsy, lazy and slow (particularly at handwriting as is IS tiring) kid. One indicator is if he holds his pen 'incorrectly' or claw like. It can also mean he has problems expressing himself to classmates.

Hth x

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