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Help, DS scratched another child & parent very upset!

(52 Posts)
Franksmummy Wed 06-Feb-13 20:41:35

Sorry already posted this but no-one's replied so though I'd try again with a different title so this morning my childminder informed me 17 month old DS scratched another child the day before. To be honest I wasn't that surprised as he does scratch occasionally however it's never malicious only when he gets over excited and he is usually very sweet and caring. My childminder said exactly the same thing said it was just one of those things, I obviously apologised profusely and thought that was that.
However when I picked DS up she told me the mother was extremely upset about it and also seemed to suggest a) DS was violent & b) the childminder wasn't watching them properly. I almost burst in to tears, although I don't think either of these things are true.
I feel very upset about it, I feel as though the other child's mother is suggesting I'm a bad parent and she's better than me because her child would never do that. I don't think I would ever be upset/angry if another child hurt my son as I understand young children do these things.
Now I'm not sure how to handle the situation I'm worried about seeing the parent in case I fall apart, and I feel bad that the childminder's been blamed for my sons behaviour. It goes without saying I tell him off when he scratches and get him to apologise. I'm thinking of sending a card to the child from my son saying something like 'I'm sorry for scratching you and my mummy promises to keep a better eye on my nails!' just to ease any tensions.
Any other ideas? I think I'm probably being far too oversensitive about the whole situation but I think it really hit a nerve I think I'm also looking for a bit of reassurance :s.
Thanks for your help.

daytoday Sun 10-Feb-13 22:33:43

Pissupinabrewery - if my child's face were covered in scratches regularly at their nursery as you suggest your childs is I would be seriously worried about THE NURSERY not the other children.

ifitsnotanarse Sun 10-Feb-13 22:47:58

Don't worry. Sounds like the other mother is very PFB. I was like that when DS1 was a toddler - another child in the nursery used to bite him when cross. Sometimes it was noted by carers but other times we would find bite mark on his arm/back when undressing him at night. I even went as far as taking a photo to complain, but realised that was going too far. DS and the other boy were good friends and I knew that the other mother was mortified at what was happening.
The nursery did their best as avoiding such incidents and eventually the other boy grew out of it. So glad I didn't make a fuss as 6 years later DS and I are still good friends with other boy and his mother. smile

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