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Scratching other children

(2 Posts)
Franksmummy Wed 06-Feb-13 19:50:14

Hi this is my first post so I'm sorry if I'm doing it wrong! but this morning my childminder informed me my 17 month old son scratched another child the day before. To be honest I wasn't that surprised as he often scratches however it's never malicious only when he gets over excited and is usually very sweet and caring. My childminder said exactly the same thing said it was just one of those things, I obviously apologised profusely and thought that was that.
However when I picked him up she told me the mother was extremely upset about it and also seemed to suggest a) my child was violent & b) the childminder wasn't watching them properly. I almost burst in to tears, although I don't think either of these things are true.
I feel very upset about it, I feel as though the other child's mother is suggesting I'm a bad parent and she's better than me because her child would never do that. I don't think I would ever be upset/angry if another child hurt my son as I understand young children do these things.
Now I'm not sure how to handle the situation I'm worried about seeing the parent in case I fall apart, and I feel bad that the childminder's been blamed for my sons behaviour. It goes without saying I tell him off when he scratches and get him to apologise. I'm thinking of sending a card to the child from my son saying something like 'I'm sorry for scratching you and my mummy promises to keep a better eye on my nails!' just to ease any tensions.
Any other ideas? I think I'm probably being far too oversensitive about the whole situation but I think it really hit a nerve.
Thanks for you help.

metimeatlast Wed 06-Feb-13 23:09:58

firstly, dont beat yourself up over it. Yes i would suggest that you keep a check on the nails, then once short they wont scratch, maybe when LO is asleep is the best time ti do it?
but in your position, if your childminder is as good as mine were, take her word on how she viewed the incident, if she said it was "just one of those things" then imho i think that the other parent may just have been having a bad day? or be stressed over an unrelated issue? If you have any parenting concerns, then your childminder will be able to either put your mind at rest or help you come up with a plan as to how to address it, and with a plan in place (if one is needed that is) she will back you up and deal with it in the same way as you are so that there is consistency for the LO.
And, dont try and convince yourself that her child doesnt/ hasnt behaved like this ever, that may be one of a few reasons such as :
her child may be of a quieter nature
her child may be older, and she has forgotten what 17 month olds are like
her child may be younger and may not be as stable and playful as your LO
or it could be that her child is just saving and storing up a few delightful moments for the mother which are yet to come grin
I bet the other parent is more concerned over what has happened than either of the little ones involved.
Take a deep breath, tomorrow is another day. Have a natter with your childminder and take it from there, best of luck

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