9yr old DS crying and sulking in class. Help!(8 Posts)
DS is in year 4, at the end of last week we were called into class at pick up because on a few occasions over the last few weeks he has had episodes of crying and sitting with his head in his hands refusing to explain what is wrong.
we managed to get out of him that a couple of boys had been calling him names and winding him up. The school dealt with this immediately.
Today we have been called in again, he has spent most of the day in tears/sulking in class. It doesn't seem to be because of these boys now, he is just getting wound up over every little thing.
Obviously he can't continue this, any ideas how to help him deal with his emotions better? he has always enjoyed school and even now isn't reluctant to go. tbh i dont know if he is genuinely upset or if he is attention seeking.
Explain that you're there to deal with his problems and soothe him, and he's there to go to school.
Fix a word with the school and talk to him.
Could he have some kind of secret communication with the teacher (like a square of red card) that he puts on his desk if he feels he is getting upset? It could at least help him to acknowledge his emotions, and maybe the teacher (or TA if there is one?) can nip it in the bud before he gets to the crying/sulking stage. Once he has begun to realise and communicate what is upsetting him, you could all start working on appropriate reactions to different situations.
thanks for your replies.
We will be keeping in regular contact with his teachers now, although it can be tricky since it is a 3 teacher job share.
his teachers and TA's seem very sympathetic. The things he was upset about today were minimal things that he has blown out of proportion. Maybe his confidence has been knocked by the previous name calling and he is now over sensitive.
I just want to nip this in the bud before it causes him more problems with other children.
Gah, this is still going on!
He had settled down and was doing okay the last week or so leading up to half term, beautifully behaved at home all half term, had a friend from school round, all fine.
First day back he got into a fight with one of the original boys he was having problems with, DS isn't the only child having issues with this boy btw, DS and the boy got punished which resulted in DS having one of his episodes of sulking, refusing to talk, sitting in the corner, with the addition of hitting himself. DH was called in to sort him out, when he got there DS was just at in the corner, DH says it seems like he was pretending to cry - no evidence of real tears or upset.
School swimming lesson this week he got into a bit of a flap in the pool with his breathing and didn't do as well as he wanted to so sulked in the corner and refused to get dressed.
Another incident yesterday of falling out with one of his friends. I tried to talk to him about this last night and he refused to tell me what triggered it and just kept saying 'you'll shout at me' 'I can't trust you' all said with a great big smirk on his face! I can't help but feel like he is doing this for attention and to try and avoid getting into trouble. If I went to leave his room because he didn't want to talk he would then say ' Oh see you don't care' I feel like I can't win!
He has a 3 teacher job share so it is very hard to keep track of what is going on, but I have a meeting on friday with a behaviour support assistant and the SENCO. What do you think we/they should be doing next?
Apart from these moments he seems happy and content, he runs into school happily each morning and his behaviour at home is the best its been in ages.
I think he was upset at the first incident with the boys and got some attention (rightly so) for it but is now pushing boundaries. I had a reading/quiet corner in my classroom that children could take themselves to if they needed time out which worked well so could suggest that to teachers. It also gave me the chance to see some children were using it uring certain lessons which when we talked was because they found maths for example hard or they had t sit next to child X during 'that' lesson so we were able to get to route of problem. It must be hard with 3 teachers and he may be struggling to keep up or being lazy and tinking you will (again rightly so) be cross as he is not working hard. I did have a couple of year 4 boys that were just that bit more sensative and teared up easily but they o get better. They also know wheta to say to you to make you feel bad and shift attention. You could try giving him a diary he can write in or scribble in black pen on bad days and then he can choose to share bits of it with you. Good luck
Thanks for your reply.
I totally agree that he is pushing boundaries, the school seem to be taking a very softly softly approach so I feel like a right old cow saying that he's playing on it. When he acted up at the pool the teacher had a chat with him and asked him to bring in all his swimming certs so she could display them, to me this seems like rewarding him for being disruptive.
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