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8yo fearful after burglary

(7 Posts)
olguis Mon 04-Feb-13 13:16:47

Hi all,

I need some advice on how to help DS overcome the fear and I guess the trauma of encountering a burglar. The story: DH and DS were returning home; burglar was in the house, dropped everything and had to rush out. DS and DH, as they entered, heard someone in the house, and went out to avoid physical confrontation, the burglar ran off, passing them by, screaming. Nothing was stolen in the end, no one hurt, but DS is affected (understandably).

DS now would not sleep in his bed, and wants someone to accompany him around the house. Are their resources to read, places to go to help him - and me? I don't really know what I shall tell him that can help.

sannaville Mon 04-Feb-13 14:12:19

Crikey your poor ds how frightening for him. Maybe a chat with your gp as he may be able to point you in right direction. or perhaps the local police may be able to help pcsos are really good these days about popping round to your house x

robyn2 Mon 04-Feb-13 14:40:52

I remember experiencing exactly the same situation at a similar age except the burglars had totally turned the place upside down with mattresses off the beds and everything pulled out of cupboards and draws and food and drink plastered all over the house. They took money and passports that they found. I still remember the terrifying feeling of returning home and also the panic of my father telling us to wait outside whilst he raced around the house shouting in case they were still inside the house (they weren't) After the police had been and gone we put the house back together. I slept in my parents bed (well actually I slept in the bed with my father and my mother slept in my bed for a few weeks to reassure me that my bed was safe. They also told me they left a window open and that was why the naughty boys could get into the house easily so they would always double check everything was locked from now on. Basically it was only time that made things better and the fact that my parents went to the DIY store and fitted what they told me was totally burglar proof fittings on the windows and doors. They did have to totally burglar proof the house with all the latest gadgets and they even went as far as buying a dog?? yes quite extreme measures but they did this to reassure me that no burglar would be able to come into our house and if anyone tried the dog would bark and dad would see them off before they came in, they said he could sleep in my room or in the hallway if I prefered. 1 year later some boys tried breaking into the shed at the back of our house this was in the middle of the night, the dog heard and barked like crazy and dad opened the door and shouted at them and they ran off. It also really helped that my parents explained a bit about burglars. It went a bit like this... Burglars are mostly silly young boys that have started taking bad drugs and their bodies become addicted so they need money to buy them. They don't enter houses to hurt us, they just want to find money or things they can sell and get in and out very quickly, burglars actually don't want you to see or hear them and most people dont, they do not come in bedrooms to wake you they just try to be really quiet and get out as fast as possible in a way that we don't know they have been in our house. Mostly burglars choose cars and houses that are unlocked and places where nobody is in such as if you go out or are on holiday they see it as and easy opportunity. It really helped that I could get rid of the idea that a burglar was some monster like creature that came in with a big axe to hurt us.

Anyway I hope that you find a way to comfort your DS after your terrible experience.

olguis Mon 04-Feb-13 18:05:09

Thanks for answers; especially the personal experience is very valuable to hear!

ajandjjmum Mon 04-Feb-13 18:23:02

We were burgled when DD was 11 - my DM, DD and I were alone in the house, and five (huge) guys broke in and hurtled around the house to find what they could, and also made me open the safe (which was empty because I'm too lazy to use it!!!) grin

DD had always been scared of burglars, so we knew we had to handle it carefully. I encouraged her to look over the rear garden (where they'd come through), and shout at them to go away, they were stupid low life and we were not going to let them affect our family. There might have been the odd swear word thrown in too - things I would never normally condone, but I was prepared to try anything.

She also talked to loads of people telling them what had happened, backed up by us saying how brave she'd been as it was all going on.

We also spent a fortune on outdoor security, which gives us all peace of mind, and now, 7/8 years later, the whole thing is rarely mentioned.

Secretly she felt a little bit of a hero, whilst her big brother felt a little cheated out of the drama of it all, as he was away with DH.

Sorry to hear you've gone through this - I'm sure you'll find a way through it that will work for your family.

MrsSalvoMontalbano Mon 04-Feb-13 18:29:06

robyn, what lovely, wise parents you have!!!

Dibatchelor Sun 15-Oct-17 17:09:46

I know this post is old, but in case anyone else has the same problem I thought this would be worth sharing. I've known many children affected in this way so have written a story book to help them cope. I got help from a clinical psychologist so it's all evidence based! You should be able to get them free from your local Victim Support branch. More details at www.whosbeeninourtree.com

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