seems like DS doesnt like me anymore!!(3 Posts)
I am a lone parent, and since his birth DS has just had me 24/7. He is 2.6 now.
About six months ago I started a college course a few days a week, and he goes to nursery which he loves for those days. He also started seeing his dad and now spends 1 full day a week with him.
When I see him now, which is way less than I used to, he is always telling me to go away and that he doesnt want a kiss/cuddle etc. I know he probably doesnt mean it but we used to be so close and its heartbreaking that he doesnt seem to want me around him! He has become quite naughty too, deliberately doing things he knows are not allowed. I dont yell at him unless its dangerous and I need him to step away very quickly, but its wearing me down!
Does anyone have any advice?
This is totally common - and normal. He's getting to the age where he is figuring out that his behavior can get a reaction from you. It's just part of working out what it is to be human and that what you do has consequences. He probably says he doesn't want to kiss you as he knows it upsets you. Although he's not being mean and nasty - he's just working out that he can exert some control over others - loads if not most kids go through this. When my little boy started saying "I don't want a goodnight kiss" and "you are not my best friend" I just say "oh well that's a shame as I really like kisses, night night love you". Or "oh well that's sad but you're still my best friend". He started to work out that although I didn't like what he was saying - I didn't crumble and just reaffirmed my love for him and then carried on as normal. He soon got bored with testing me. Now he's super cuddly again.
As for the naughtiness - I just use two warnings and then the 'cool down chair'. I stay calm, try not to lose my temper and show him that I'm in control and that we have boundaries that are not movable on certain things. Basically the super nanny approach. Lots of deep breaths and you'll get through it.
Be strong and remember he's only two - you are the centre of his world - he's just working himself out and unfortunately you're the one getting the rough end of it all.
I don't think this has necessarily got anything to do with what you're doing. My DD has totally gone off kisses too, and all toddlers will try doing things they know they shouldn't!
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