my daughter will not change her socks or underwear(57 Posts)
My 13yr old brother is EXACTLY the same. Not just with socks and underwear mind but with all his clothes. He has asperges and its a real struggle to even get him in the shower! He prob goes in twice a week if we're lucky. he knows his white socks are black but his sensory problems mean that putting on a new clean pair of socks is just too much for him, he even had to wear them inside out because he can't bear the seem that runs along the toes. His communication skills are poor, he genuinely forgets that you have told him something a million times because who's brain is processing other things.
Not saying your dd has asperges or anything similar but maybe she shouts and screams because she doesn't know how to communicat to you why she does it. She might be a bit embarrassed by it herself.
Could it just be attention seeking ? You mentioned you childmind?
Like the laying on the sofa with a snack seems to be?
OP, to me it sounds a lot like Obsessional Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I have had this and still do to an extent although I can largely control it. It is a neurosis (sufferers are aware of their behaviour unlike a psychosis in which they are unaware). Mine manifested itself in the form of repetitive behaviour and rituals.
Very personal but I don't mind sharing. (In no way am I insinuating this is the case in your home, just giving you background). I had a violent Father who attempted to kill my mother several times. I asked her after we got away what her favourite number was, she replied,
'3, because there are 3 of us now'. This started a cycle of me having to do everything in 3s, along with a hand washing obsession and nervous tics. To me this was a protection. I would get extremely distressed if it was intervened in any way.
It can be a rational or an irrational fear. Bullying at school? Maybe if she wears her pants and socks one day and it doesn't happen, they become 'safe'.
I'm only guessing of course but it sounds a lot like me at 7 years old. I agree with GP referral to a MH professional.
Just to say, that if everything is normal , Ds hates changing his socks and quite a few boys go through a yukky stage. But worth thinking about unhappiness and the camhs ref.
You don't mention any other difficulties. Is everything ok otherwise? Normal development and social interaction? School going well?
I don't think she needs CAMHS unless there are other issues you haven't mentioned. This has become a bad habit which needs to be broken. I agree with Seeker - you need to take them from her and make sure she can't get them back. If you say you're going to do it then follow it through otherwise she'll know she can avoid it by creating a scene. Please don't be offended, but have you thought of trying a parenting course? CAMHS would likely suggest this. However if there are other problems then it might be worth discussing with your GP.
My friend DD used towear the same knickers for ages at the same type of age. There were no MH issues whatsoever and she grew out of it. Her parents are real neat freaks and I wondered if she was reacting against it.
My friend was irritated by her DD doing this but apart from nagging her a bit didn't do much. Her DD wasn't dirty and didn't smell though.
My niece (8 - almost 9) is a bit like this at the moment. Complete soap dodger and would put dirty pants/socks back on after a bath/shower if she could, although wouldn't go to the effort to get them out of the laudry basket - but would like through her back teeth saying she had clean ones on (even though the socks are filthy etc). She's also very shouty/huffy/sulky/emotional. She would do the piano thing. We are mostly putting it down to hormones. They think the world of her at school and describe a child we don't recognise
She's always been hard work, she's the eldest and is ME ME ME ME ME.
She can be lovely, thoughtful, sweet, kind... but a lot of the time she's bloody trying!
We are putting it all down to hormones!
So - poor you - you have such a variety of answers! I hope one (or several) helps.
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