Dealing with clingy kids

[UntamedShrew]

I hope someone can offer me some advice as I'm really near the end of my tether today :(

I've three DC - twin DSs nearly four and a 13m DD.

One of the boys plus the baby are just incredibly clingy, it's getting worse and as much as I try to tell myself it's lovely, it isn't. I feel absolutely tied, suffocated and exhausted by it. The other DS is getting ignored and I feel terrible for him - he seems oblivious but I worry I'm missing stuff with him.

DT2 will no longer be left with a nanny (2 mornings a week I work) without major tears, hitting our lovely nanny, tantrums etc.

He goes to nursery for 2 hours every afternoon and goes happily so that's something I suppose.

We had a party yesterday though and instead of playing (it was soft play centre) he wanted to sit on my lap like DD was.
He has had a play date this afternoon, we do alternate Wednesdays after nursery and has always been fine but today he cried for me :((

DD spends the day either being carried or with her hands down my ugg boots so I can't move, whining to be picked up. She will walk around the house for a (very!) little bit if its just me and the DSs at home but as soon as anyone else visits or we go anywhere, she is a cling-on again.

My back is broken but mainly I'm just worried that I'll never be able to leave them - we have to find a new nanny from April but I think it's going to be pointless as I won't be able to leave them. Also DD meant to be starting kindy in September but aargh that'll be horrendous too! Sorry am being do defeatist. Very down today :(

[Sophieao88]

Don't feel down. My little girl is exactly the same, shes 18 months old and goes hysterical if i even dare to leave the room to use the bathroom. I also feel sad at times as this means my 5 year old can miss out on one on one time. Im not sure what the solution is, at the moment I'm trying tough love but as yet there is little improvement. Sorry its not much help but sometimes i find it helps to know I'm not the only one going through this (seemingly never ending) phase :)

[CorduroyAngel]

I'm so sorry that you feel so defeated at the moment, it must be so bloody hard for you to find time to spend with each child and I really feel for you. Is there no-one who can help you that the two clingiest can go to for a while? I read that you should try to spend half an hour a day of one-to-one time with each child, but that sounds almost impossible for you if you have no assistance. How about getting help with the chores etc and managing each child's quality time that way? The good news is that this phase should pass with time, but that's not much solace for you right now. Have you told your GP you need help? There is a group called Home Start who have volunteers who come to your home for a couple of hours each week to offer support, it may be worth enquiring if that scheme operates where you are. Best of luck with your new nanny x