I'm finding my 4y3m old ds' behaviour really difficult at the moment. He has a really wild temper and seems to fly off the handle in a really unreasonable way. The way he speaks to me, his dad, and other adults is really unacceptable. I don't know why this is as I've always tried to model good social interactions, encouraging him to be polite and say please and thank you.
For example, today we were at a friend's house playing. He was having a really nice time and didn't want to leave. Before we went there i had reminded him that when it was time to go I expected him to come with me nicely, and that if he did he would be able to put a marble in his jar (we started the marble jar as I felt i wanted something positive to remind us both of all the good things he does rather than focussing on negatives). When it came to be time to go i gave him a 5 min warning, then started to get ready. He began flailing about, accidentally hitting the friend we were playing with. I asked him to say sorry which he did. I then tried to help him on with his coat and he shouted at me "NEVER EVER PUTTING MY COAT ON, GET OFF" and other similar things. On the way home he shouted and screamed and i said i thought he needed to go to his bedroom to calm down. He screamed that if i sent him to his room, he wouldn't eat his tea and he would break all the toys in his bedroom. When we got home he kept trying to cuddle me but when he is angry he does it in a really aggressive way which involves him pushing me and being very rough. He went to his room and calmed down a bit, but as promised refused to eat any tea at all.
Other things he has started doing include hitting me or pushing me when he is angry. If an adult asks him to do something and he doesn't want to he often makes a sort of angry screamy noise at them. He also shouts at his younger sister a lot.
Ds is a very sensitive, thoughtful sort of child. He worries about things a lot. I am currently pregnant with dc3, and have been unwell throughout the pregnancy. I know he is worried about me. I think that may be the root of some of his behaviour. I just find it so, so hard as I want him to realise that this sort of rudeness is not ok. I am a teacher and I honestly thought no child of mine would behave like this. I thought i'd be able to use 'the look' and just get them to behave the way i wanted! Does anyone have any advice on how to curb this sort of behaviour? It would be much appreciated!
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Behaviour/development
Challenging behaviour from 4 yo - advice appreciated!
7 replies
washngo · 23/01/2013 18:41
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