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Any advice on an insecure 4 year old whose childminder has moved away?

(4 Posts)
Maeinha Wed 23-Jan-13 12:51:45

My 4 1/2 year old has been displaying a lot of insecurity since his childminder moved far away just before Christmas. Unfortunately they lived about 6 doors down and her son was/is also my son's best friend. He's difficult on and off at home, but it's particularly bad in the mornings when I leave him at school. He cries and gets very upset - "I want to stay with YOU, mummy". He seems to be ok once at school.
I've been talking to him more about the childminder and son, and am trying to arrange to skype so they can see each other. DOes anyone have any other suggestions about how to help him?

CorduroyAngel Wed 23-Jan-13 22:50:08

I think the first step would be to discuss it with his teacher, ensure that she can keep him busy and perhaps help to strengthen his friendship bonds at school to help him feel more secure. It can be devastating for a while when you are so little and people on whom you depended suddenly leave your life, for whatever reason. The good news is that it is the bond that your son misses, and this loss can be eased by creating lots of bonding opportunities with his friends, your friends and grandparents (where available). Are you handy with a needle and thread? Kids LOVE handmade items and a little tiny teddy to take to school with him that you made would be a great 'security blanket' to help him settle each morning. He could also create something for his childminder and her son to send to them and let them know he misses them. This could be a good outlet for his feelings. Above all, talk to him about how he feels and get him to describe it. This is a great opportunity to talk about love, loss, and coming to terms with something over which he has little power. Good luck x

Maeinha Thu 24-Jan-13 09:54:14

THanks very much for the tips, all really good ideas. The teacher is great and he has other friends, just not quite the surrogate brother that he used to! He's actually got very into taking something to school each day, you're quite right. I'll see if he wants a special something. We have been talking much more about where childminder and family have gone, why, and about arranging to see them again soon.
thanks again

CorduroyAngel Sat 26-Jan-13 11:04:01

I really hope things are a little easier as the days go by... x

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