21mo pushing over at nursery..(4 Posts)
DS is a solid 21mo
Happy lively lovely friendly boy, very affectionate
Dh picked him up from nursery to be told DS had been purposely pushing over children, to then cuddle them after
He apparently also tried to bite someone
He's never ever done this before
He's there full time and has been since 9mo
What should I do/ say?
We've had the you must be friendly and nice to people conversation, and he gets it because was showing me 'bite' (him chewing fingers) and saying no & stop
What do I do, I don't want to make a big deal so it turns into an attention thing but also want to nip it in bud
He doesn't do it at home (only child, only dh & me & cata otherwise!)
Afraid you do need to make it a big deal so he knows not to in future. Hope nursery staff will watch out for this and move quickly. Get on his level and talk.
Something along the lines of,"We don't push/bite. Look X is crying/upset. You made her/him sad. If you do this again X won't want to play with you".
Your DS may have begun this in a bid to win make up hugs or kisses but he won't impress his playmates or their parents. His vocabulary to express himself may or may not be advanced enough to express how he feels but toddlers his age literally flex their muscles socially. An alert adult can reprove when it happens and the penny will drop.
It won't just be him. An angel one week turns into an imp the next. Keep an eye on him at home, don't discourage romping but encourage him to rein it in round others smaller or younger.
I think you can reinforce desirable behaviour at home by getting down at his level and reminding him, e.g. No pushing, we need to be kind. However, if it is really only happening at nursery, then it will be up to the staff there to deal with it as each situation arises. Children this age need discipline at the time of the behaviour - not a few hours later when you pick him up (I have worked with toddlers for years and also have a feisty 22month old myself!) this kind of thing is really common and the nursery has probably dealt with it lots of times. It might br helpful to have a meeting with his key worker to discuss their approach to his behaviour (so you can be consistent if he does start doing it at home) Another thing you could do at home is looking at simple books together where children are showing kindness and talking about what is happening using simple language. Try not to worry too much - hopefully he will grow out of it soon.
My just 2 year old goddaughter who i look after a lot has just stopped doing this so i really sympathise. We tried the 'be gentle' say sorry approach to no avail. She even said 'sorry' whilst pushing. In the end i gave her a warning then did time out for 2 mins (I soul searched as she is young but no other approach was working and i stopped wanting to take her out anywhere). I only had to do this for about 2 weeks and the behaviour completely stopped! She is now back to her former lovely self. Best of luck!
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