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Have other parents ever stopped their DC coming to your DC's parties?

(8 Posts)
Dinkysmummy Wed 16-Jan-13 16:54:49

Let me explain....

The school have put my dd (nearly 5yrs) on SEN register for behavioural and emotional difficulties and are trying to push for CAMHS into action following the GPs referral.

One of my dds 'best friends' is in the year above, we used to get the same bus in the morning until they started getting lifts, just before they stopped getting the bus the mum would tell her DS off if my DD talked to him. If my dd sat near her DS on the bus she would move.
On the way home from school his nan brings him on the bus. My DD and the other child do make noise and sometimes can be a little overenthusiastic. The nan doesn't mind because
a) she knows my dd has been referred to CAMHS so has a problem and it's not just naughty behaviour
b) most of it isnt actually them being naughty together they are just being children!

I had just come out of a meeting with the class teacher who said my dd is a lovely child, she is not spiteful, her few friends mean so much to her, and she does try very hard to be good.

I have tried so hard and so many things with dd. I have had the health visitors round who are at a loss as to what to suggest as I have a reward chart, time out space, sanctions and rewards process (the reward chart doesn't seem to work very well with dd), there is nothing they could suggest apart from going back to the GP, who then referred dd to CAMHS.

When I break it to her she is going to be really upset.

Has anyone else had this issue?

NewYearNewNagoo Wed 16-Jan-13 18:10:38

Tell her he can't come for some other reason.

I am sorry this other mother is such a bitch about it.

Dinkysmummy Wed 16-Jan-13 18:20:29

Oh I wasn't going to tell dd is was because of her.
No, she will be devastated just because he can't come, as he is her best friend (well one of them- I don't think she actually understands best friends she only has 4 or 5 friends and they are all her best friends!)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who just thinks this mum is being a bitch. If my dd had a dx I could ask for understanding, but she doesn't so I can't even say that. Although the school have pointed out that dd is technically a special needs child.
I suppose she can invite the new boy on the bus instead who is really trying hard to make friends with her.

NewYearNewNagoo Wed 16-Jan-13 19:37:19

She'll be ok if her other friends come smile

it's not about a dx though is it, it's about her trying to shepherd her son into friendships with children she deems 'suitable'. It doesn't work like that, children like who they like.

I hope your DD enjoys her party smile

sannaville Thu 17-Jan-13 14:11:56

I've been in this situation my dd has ADHD. It is upsetting but you soon learn the parents and their kids who are worth your dds friendship

lljkk Thu 17-Jan-13 14:15:26

I had something similar with one of the school mums; she'd look at melike something she scraped off her shoe when I asked if her DS would like to come play. Maybe 18 months later I found out she was a snooty turd to most the other parents, nobody was good enough to be friends with her child (sigh). And she generally greated most people like crap. It was such a relief to know it wasn't really about me or my DC.

Sometimes when it seems like another person has a problem, they really do, and only they do.

lljkk Thu 17-Jan-13 14:16:18

TREATED not greated (!)

greenpostit Thu 17-Jan-13 14:23:02

Your dd will be ok, just tell her the boy is busy and then distract her with decorating for the party or something she likes to do. Forget about the other mum, she isn't worth the bother and she can't stop them socialising at school.

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