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6 year old DD and her outbursts at school - any tips?

(12 Posts)
notyummy Tue 15-Jan-13 16:03:02

DD is in Yr 2 and is one of the youngest in her year. Last year we had repeated incidents of bad behaviour, and we agreed with her teacher that she should be placed on a 'behaviour book' where any incidents (good or bad) would be noted and we would do the same at home. A way of ensuring we were being consistent. This appeared to help and when this school year started she seemed much better - inc the feedback at parents evening last term.

She seems happy at school, has friends and academically is one of the strongest performers in the class according to the teacher. The problem seems to be around lack of control (i.e her not being in control.) Today a piece of work went slightly wrong and she wasnt given another bit of paper to start again on because it was only a minor error, and they were working on special/expensive paper. This provoked a real meltdown. This was resolved (teacher moved her to quiet area until she had cooled down) and then 10 minutes later she tried to borrow money from a friend to pay for a an additional tuck shop purchase and was told that borrowing wasnt allowed. She had a real screaming fit, so much so that she scared the other children and had to be removed from the classroom and taken to the head teachers office to calm down.

There has never been any violence involved (thankfully) and I think the teacher is trying to deal as best she can given that there are 25 other 6/7 year olds to deal with. She seems genuinely fond of DD and talks about her bright and funny she is and how amazed she is by her reading/writing etc. I am a bit of a loss about what we can do at home to try and stop this happening at school. I am worried that she will get a reputation for this behaviour - and that eventually other children wont want to associate with her. Plus the general unacceptable behaviour and disruption she causes.

Any help gratefully received.

notyummy Tue 15-Jan-13 16:34:49

Bump

JuliaScurr Tue 15-Jan-13 16:41:19

youngminds.org.uk

I and a couple of friends have found them very helpful

MrsMushroom Tue 15-Jan-13 16:42:38

Ah bless her. She sounds like she's not quite able to deal with her own self at the moment, being bright is great but can cause some kids to struggle when they can't get others to see that they know best!

Have you considered a Martial art for her? Martial arts or Yoga for kids could be amazing for her as it really teaches self control physically as well as mentally and it's fun too...they don't' realise that they're learning life skills as well as a Martial art.

My nephew (also v bright) began last year at Judo and he has improved massively with his self control and temper...he's 8 now.

notyummy Tue 15-Jan-13 17:09:45

Thank you ladies. I will have a look at the link and the martial arts is a good idea. She does gymnastics and swimming but after three years us losing interest in the gymnastics and I think the discipline elements of martial arts is not a bad idea.

Any more?!

tethersend Tue 15-Jan-13 17:18:44

Does she have an IEP or behaviour plan?

notyummy Tue 15-Jan-13 17:40:54

No - I think up until now the teacher has not seen it as a big enough issues to warrant one. The outbursts have only been occasional, never involving violence, aggressive language etc. She has never been removed from the classroom or sent to the Head Teacher before. Do you think it might help?

tethersend Tue 15-Jan-13 23:24:27

I think it could help- certainly she should have at least a behaviour plan if this behaviour is becoming a regular occurrence.

Consistency of approach is key, and it will help if all staff follow the same agreed course of action when your DD loses control- this can be detailed in the behaviour plan along with some strategies to avoid the behaviour occurring and details of any identified triggers.

I would also ask the school to record the time/date and what she was doing when the behaviour happened, along with what happened afterwards. This can be useful in establishing a pattern (for example, if all incidents happen before lunchtime, hunger is likely to be a large part of the cause). This is sometimes called an 'ABC' chart -Antecedent, Behaviour, Consequence.

How supportive have you found the school so far?

notyummy Wed 16-Jan-13 08:35:10

So far I would say that the school have been pretty good. Last year she displayed similar behaviour ocaasionally and the teacher suggested a behaviour book to ensure the home/school approach was consistent and we knew what was going on. I can only do the pick up and drop off on a Friday so the teacher was concerned that dd thought she could get away with outbursts without us knowing as the teacher couldn't tell us in person. This approach plus a Friday afternoon chat with the teacher each week (with dd present) seemed to work and her behaviour improved. This is the first time this school year that anything of this magnitude has happened, and she has never had to be removed from the classroom before. Apparently another teacher came in because a child had been seriously injured <what a nightmare>

Thanks a lot for that Tethers. I certainly think the idea of recording when these things happen is important. I will be seeing the teacher on Friday and will raise the idea of an IEP.

tethersend Wed 16-Jan-13 09:13:52

Good luck, notyummy. Feel free to PM me if you like.

notyummy Wed 16-Jan-13 15:01:13

The end of my last post should read 'because she thought a child had been seriously injured' (because of dds shrieking.) No one was actually injured.

Cheers Tethersend.

lljkk Wed 16-Jan-13 15:18:17

I wouldn't be too worried about her getting a reputation, OP. I can think of (many) far worse behaved kids who actually turned into the most popular among their peers, and weren't typecast by teachers either, in my experience.

DS was chucked out of martial arts club. sad

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