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Reception child - lack of friends

(5 Posts)
fleacircus Fri 07-Dec-12 11:54:24

DD is nearly 5, in reception. Loves school, doing very well, talks happily about it and about the other children. Refers to playing with particular kids; I only pick her up once a week but more than once another child has approached her to play in the playground after school - not for a few weeks, but it's colder and wetter now.

At parents' evening was taken aback to discover that her teacher is concerned about her social skills, and that she struggles to make friends. They've put her in an ELSA group to support that; I've got a meeting after school today with the teacher to discuss it further as I was so surprised at the parents' evening I didn't really get a chance to process it. I had thought this might be an area where she had difficulties as she is... kind of... odd. But she seemed so happy, I stopped worrying about it, thought everything was going well.

If it were you, what would you be asking the teacher at the meeting tonight?


arista Fri 07-Dec-12 13:46:21

I think it is still early days she just started school a few months ago and is probably still adjusting. How was she at nursery? Did she had any friends? I won't worry if it was me I would just give her time. My daughter is 5 as well she is in year 1 youngest one as she just 5 end of August and although she did not have problems making friends was finding it difficult to adjust in a different way and now she is just fine just as all her in her class.

DeWe Fri 07-Dec-12 14:01:41

In my experience few reception make strong friends. They're generally more fluid. In year 1 they start getting more rigid friendship groups, and end of year 1/start of year 2 ime the girls then start pairing off.

The fact that the teacher approached you suggests that there might be more than just not making friends though.
It may be that the group are making strong friends and your dd is more "normal" but she's concerned she may end up just left out because the friendship groups have grown more rigid while she's still fluid. (that's what happened to me at school) It's then harder to break into the friendship groups.
Or it may be that she's feeling that your dd does need some intervention to learn to make friends.
Or it could be that the teacher is more experienced in year 1 or year 2 girls and is judging your dd by that standard. In which case I suspect there will be similar children also in the group.

Trapezium Fri 07-Dec-12 14:57:44

Hello - I am in the same boat as you. Reception ds seen to be lacking in social skills. I am not particularly concerned. But I hear consistently that he is playing alongside other children (how do you teach a child to play with children??) I would ask what they suggest and how you can support.

I would be very interested in how you get on - do PM me if it would help

Rudolphstolemycarrots Sun 09-Dec-12 23:41:20

it's too early to worry about it to be honest. Lots can change over the next few years.

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