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I'm on my own with a new baby and my other 2 are so jealous

(9 Posts)
Tooodlepip Fri 30-Nov-12 16:31:10

Hi

I'm just so tired I just started crying in front of my 6 year old because he wouldn't stop crying the reason he was crying is because the baby is sick for the first time he is only 11 weeks old and is asleep on me my 6 yr old comes home from school demanding food so I attempted to put down baby who started screaming walk into kitchen to heat up shepherds pie only for 6 year old to stat he isn't eating it again today hmm so I walked out to get baby telling him that's all there is today (I'm sick as well infected wisdom tooth) cue crying from baby who had to be resettled and 6 year old crying beside me waking up baby everytime he settled

And just like that when he felt like it off he went to eat the shepherds pie shock

I have 3 boys 10, 6 and 11 weeks my other two just seem so demanding and my Dh works overseas hmm they are always attention seeking

from me and they do get alot of my time and attention but their behaviour is really upsetting me even my 10 year been acting jealous

But what can I do babies need time and I'm so tired all 3 of us were crying me, baby and my 6 year old

DraggleTailedWench Fri 30-Nov-12 20:07:27

Poor you! I'm sorry I don't have the answers but I wanted to reply to you because it sounds like you're having a tough time. I really hope you are feeling better about now and can put your feet up if the older two are in bed.

I'm sorry if these suggestions seem obvious but are there any family about who could give you a break? How about other friends with kids you could meet up with and the older ones playing might take the pressure off?

My neighbor has 4 kids in a similar situation, her youngest is 1, then 2, then 6 and 8. I know she is run off her feet. There's a girl who goes around to help a couple of times or more a week. Ironing/ bit of baby sitting. Is there anyone who could help you?

I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job. Its really, really hard work. I hope someone with more experience replies to you soon with maybe some more useful advice, and before then I hope you get some peace from the older ones tonight!

Mobly Sat 01-Dec-12 15:44:20

I can empathise with you entirely! I'm a single mum with a 12wk old, 4yr old who started reception sept & a just gone 3yr old.

It's hard. It's a case of getting through the day (& night!) sometimes.

I find it's very up & down.

I had a little cry this morning too. It does feel relentless at times & the sleep deprivation makes it seem worse.

Just keep hanging onto the fact that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Of course it's going to be hard with a new baby but it will get easier.

Tooodlepip Sat 01-Dec-12 21:18:33

I know what you mean mobly just surviving is what how I would describe it and its so disappointing as I really wanted to be one of those mums who really enjoy their children sad

thank you draggle for taking the time to answer and mobly it means a lot to me as I don't have much support so your posts really mean a lot smile

Mobly Sat 01-Dec-12 22:16:13

It won't be like this for long though, honestly, it'll get easier, especially as baby gets a little older.

I'm looking forward to about 4mths when ds3 can go in one of those upright bouncers, or 6mths when you can pop them in a highchair with some finger food smile

I guess it's a case of focusing on the positives & when you've had a bad day, try not to dwell on it.

I think try & really praise the older ones, and try and get them to help with the baby.

I tell ds1 & 2 that ds3 loves them as they're such fab big brothers etc etc and it does seem to work. They bicker to the point where my head spins but they are lovely with ds3.

For me it's hardest when they keep waking up, none of my dcs have ever been great sleepers.

They are quite whiny too.

How are you nights? Does baby sleep ok?

Gilberte Sat 01-Dec-12 22:28:24

That sounds so hard. You are amazing. Having three children with your husband overseas. My first year with two children was the hardest of my life ( my eldest DD was very jealous and played up a lot after DD2 was born) and I had a DH coming home everynight.
I know you had little support but is there anyone you can call on, family, partner's family.

If you need to cut corners, order takeaways/ get fish and chips, cook fish fingers do it to get through. If you and your children watch too much TV for a while so be it. If their diet has to be a little different for a while- they'll survive.

Make the most of the time they are at school to have as much rest as you can. Can you get an appointment to see a dentist about your tooth and take the baby with you next week.

Can you do some online shopping in the day, get some nice bits to eat and snacks that eldest children can help themselves to when they are hungry after coming in from school.

I really feel for you I really do and hope things improve.

Tooodlepip Sun 02-Dec-12 19:24:39

thanks Gilberte, I don't feel amazing just a huge sense of failure thinking every day I should just ring my dh and tell him I can't cope on my own and that he should just come back home permanently sad but then I try and stop myself.

My boys are just so demanding and jealous of the new baby who is a little bundle of demands himself, I don't know how much longer I can carry on.

Its weird as I can go through a day or week and feel great, together and on top of it all but these days of feeling overwhelmed are becoming more frequent. I had pnd after my second son, and I don't think its that as such more like my circumstances making me feel down.

Mobly I can't agree more, I can't wait until baby is 4 months and becomes more interested in playing and hopefully less in crying at least then he can interact more with his brothers and yes to high chair stage, although I do feel sad that I am waiting for that stage, I really wanted to enjoy this baby stage as much as I could smile

thanks for the support it is appreciated I am going to try and focus on my positives this week maybe get some b vitamins etc go out more smile might help a bit

Tooodlepip Sun 02-Dec-12 19:27:57

oh mobly you have a difficult sleeper you must be exhausted yourself, my baby only naps for half an hour at a time during the day and at night has 2-3 feeds the last couple of nights he has been going to bed early enough so I am ok with that and can function well.

my sil has an 8 month old baby who in front of me today god bless him when he felt tired climbed into his seat and just went of to sleep [shocked] she keeps looking at me like I am doing it all wrong and that its my fault my baby isn't like hers, although her advice was 'do you not leave him to cry' my answer 'he is only 12 weeks' her reply 'your too soft' biscuit

Mobly Mon 03-Dec-12 20:14:02

Tooodlepip, some days are like a sleep deprived fog and my head feels fuzzy! And like you, some days are great and some more of a challenge.

It sounds like you're doing a great job smile

And completely with you on the not leaving them to cry. I've never been able to do it & nor would I want to. Though your little nephew sounds fab.

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