playgroup being naughty then looking at me

[Carruthers]

I go to a playgroup with my three year old. At present I am not able to go regularly. I know from previous experence the more I go the more relaxed we both are and the more comfortable my child is.
I took him today because I could. He was clearly unsettled. He kept looking at me when he was about to snatch a toy of behaved in a disruptive manner. It wasn't a pleasant morning for either of us. Is it better to not go at all if I cannt go on a regular basis?

[carocaro]

He's looking for a reaction from you, so praise over praise him when he is behaving well and don't react to the bad, if he does something like snatching, go over and pick him up, say nothing, take him to one side and explain quietly and calmly that if he does that again you will have to go home and wouldn't that be a shame as you are having such a nice time. And if he does it again, go home, he needs to learn what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Keep at going even if you can't go everytime.

[madwomanintheattic]

God, no. Go more.

Why aren't you able to go regularly?

He's just pushing your buttons. He knows how to behave. Why would you go less? Don't understand, sorry.

[GimmeIrnBru]

Not every child is suited to these groups. If you enjoy it though, then go when you can and perhaps fit in 1 : 1 sessions too at home with another mum and her three year old? Some just get along better with a smaller number of children.

[madeit]

I just changed my nickname if that is confusing. Yes I like the idea of having short play sessions with another child of a similar age.
I think if I hone in on the positive and spend a shorter amount of time at the sessions if things aren't settling down. I think my son was probably feelng insecure in a large group after a gap of several weeks.
I cannot go regularly due to health reasons.

[madwomanintheattic]

Have you got him a nursery place organized? He sounds as though he would benefit from the social aspect if you are unable to take him out because of your own health? At three, he does need a certain amount of peer time, particularly if you think he is struggling with social situations?

[Kiwiinkits]

what carocaro said, absolutely

Catch him sharing and say "oh DS aren't you wonderful at sharing! You GOOD BOY!!"

Otherwise, if he's naughty, lift him away from the scene, get down to his level, talk to his face and say "DS, that was snatching and very naughty. If you snatch, we will have to leave playgroup. Do you want to go home or stay?"

[GimmeIrnBru]

Is he eligible for pre school sessions? Would also give you a break for a few hours to rest for health reasons.

[madeit]

Yes he goes to nursery and enjoys it. There were a few issues with sharing when he first started but now the staff tell me he mixes well and is very social. He seems to play up when I am around. I give him a lot of attention as he is an only child.

[GimmeIrnBru]

"He seems to play up when I am around."

That doesn't just apply to only children. My two are both like this when I'm about, but I'm then told they're fine when with another caregiver (usually nursery staff or grandparents).

[Rudolphstolemycarrots]

he is looking for your attention. go play with him from the start and give him lots of attention

[exoticfruits]

He is looking for attention and he knows how to get it! Give him attention when he is behaving well.