Hi I can see there's lots of similar threads on here but don't want to hijack so will start my own.
I have 5 dc 4 boys all grown and left then dds 10 and 21months. We love them dearly but the age gap means we are experiencing two sets of age related problems.
Dd1 is going through some anxiety and needs constant reassurance and rarely settles to sleep before midnight thus anxiety worse cos of lack of sleep. She looks pale and tired. I am working on this with school and have an appointment to see gp I feel it's a phase and will pass but it does mean I can't sleep either as she will call out to me to check I'm there still 
very annoying but as I say I do think it will pass.
So then dd2 is possibly the cutest but most miserable child I have ever encountered. She's never slept that well and almost always wakes by six. I am therefore existing on 6 hrs sleep most nights.
She spends a large part of the day whingeing and trying to be picked up. She doesn't play with toys unless we are engaged with her too.
She is extremely strong willed so coupled with the moaning I feel I don't like taking her out much such as into town where she will cry to get out of buggy then run off constantly. Screams and hangs off reins or to be picked up and carried along which she is too heavy to do for long.
I do make sure she goes out everyday for a long walk, toddlers, park, friends houses.
When at home will often just lash out at me or scratch or pull my hair. I've tried shouting, ignoring, showing it hurts and putting her down. When she does thus its really spiteful and her face is all screwed up,
I often wonder if she will go on to develop special needs but that's probably just me over reacting.
I work part time and dh does the child care and she behaves the same but he is less inclined to get fed up with he because she is his only child and he adores her. G
He works shifts so is here a lot and is amazing. Gets up a lot with her and let's me sleep etc. but even he is getting fed up now. He's gone to work this morning at 7 after 5 hrs sleep, we are both so tired it shows on our faces and he's lost weight whilst I've put it on. We get no time to ourselves or just to read or relax.
Sorry this is so long, I feel better just for getting it out.
I feel such a failure but I just want some peace and quiet and sleep and feel as if I will never get it.
I actually look forward to work.
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Feel like walking away
ledkr · 18/11/2012 09:19
Oh love, you poor thing. Can you see a sleep specialist, maybe worth the money, as I honestly think if she slept better her behaviour would improve tbh 
We're not meant to offer hugs are we but I really wish I could give you a squige. Lack of sleep is debilitating and coupled with toddler tantrums it's exhausting.
Mine are 17 months apart and I've had a tough time in the past.
is dd2 poorly? is dd1 aware of this? is dd2 in any pain?
if i were you i would put dd1 in bed with you, explain to her it isn't a long term solution, but it is something that we are doing for now so we can all get some more sleep. when you are both feeling stronger you can work out another plan together. i also have a 10 yo dd, who really puts me through my paces, i do think it can be a tricky age. i try and keep patient, and look forward to the day when she begs my forgiveness 
, but god, some moments can be really hard.
when you say your mental health is fragile - could i ask in what way? are you anxious about your children or is it something else?
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go back to your gp and ask - agree with pop take somebody with you for back up.
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