Miles away from eldest son

[standsonshiftingsands]

Hi,

I used to use Mumsnet a lot when my children were younger, but must admit I haven't in the last few years....I'm not sure I've had time!

I have 3 children - two boys 11 (12 at Christmas), 10 and a little girl of 8. My eldest has just gone to hight school - a two tier system here. I have always struggled with him. He was a nightmare of a baby - I find him infuriating, but of course I love him. His attitude is awful, he is lazy - hard to motivate to do any work. I feel we don't talk, but just shout at him. I feel I am loosing him already. The house can be quite tense because of our arguments. I feel awful afterwards of course. Is this normal for an almost 12 year old?

He can be awful to his brother and sister too - and I feel all my attention is on him to the determent of the other two.

I work full time so does my husband. I feel guilty about this too of course.

Anyone out there with something similar? I am feeling very at the end of my tether......

[standsonshiftingsands]

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I think there is something in what you say. Of course there are good things about him - I think I've lost the ability to see them. Oh dear. I know I have to re-create a relationship with him whilst I can. Its very hard to talk to 12 year olds.....