3/4 year old with Anger Management Issues - Red Mist

[Beccawol]

My youngest son will be 4 next week and unlike his older brother who has always been (within reason) behaved or I have been able to reason with, his anger levels are causing me great concern and upset.

Out of the house at pre-school or at his fathers he is generally well behaved but behind closed doors at home the monster is unleashed!! Like most of us he can be stubborn and hates being told off, ignoring what is said to him unless made to listen when he sees what is best described as a 'Red Mist'. He becomes violence towards me hitting, kicking, scratching, biting, screaming and verbally telling me he is strong, doesn't like me, will hurt me etc etc

I try to remain calm dealing with this but instant reactions do occur when pain and distress occur, by this I mean raised voices and although it is teaching the wrong thing in extreme moments a smack. Naught steps/ time out/ removing toys and ignoring have never worked if anything they make things worse. Reward charts don't interest him so I am trying sticker rewards for good behavior.

Looking at when instances occur it seems to be when he is not the center of attention, or being told off. I have asked his brother not to wind him up as this can act as a trigger, but am unable to watch/ entertain him all the time.

Is this normal? And has anyone else had experience or know what to do next? Please help!!

[Valdeeves]

Have you read The Explosive Child? Yours might not have any issues involved but it helps explain why some kids lose the plot. It helped me with my three year old firework!