3 weeks cries because of wind, cuddling to sleep to leave alone?(18 Posts)
Hi my LO is a bit more than 3 weeks old. He started to have really bad colic like problems. We could hear/feel easily the wild wind/bubbles in his tummy. He cries as soon as he lays flat on his back.
We tried at the beginning to not spoil him and leave him alone to sleep. But it wouldn't work. He cries and cries. We are afraid he's getting more air in when he cries, so end up cuddling him all the time even when he's sleeping - so that he could get some sleep.
I was warned by a midwife that at this stage they might start getting bad habit already - like being held all the time. But between the colic problem and the bad habit, it's just hard to decide.
Any suggestions, other experienced mums? Shall we keep him calm/sleep by holding him all the time or shall we just leave him cry until he settles himself - but inhale more wind?
Really appreciate any suggestion.
Are you happy cuddling him to sleep? If so, carry on,ignore the midwife, and just help him sleep. He'll grow out of it when he's ready.
Midwife is wrong There's no such thing as bad habits in a 3 week old! Please cuddle him
If he doesn't like lying flat it might be that he has reflux? Have you tried infacol etc? Also you could try raising the head end of the cot/moses basket by propping it up on books or blocks of wood.
Or, he might just want to be with you. That's perfectly normal for a 3 week old, he will grow out of it, so no need to worry
A three week old baby can't have bad habits. Please cuddle your baby whenever you want - babies (and children) can never have too much love.
FWIW, my son -now aged 13 - had very similar problems and the only way he could sleep was on me - with me propped up on pillows and him on his front on me. Completely ridiculous comment by midwife. Both of mine were fed on demand until 10 months old and then given water at night if they were thirsty. Never ever had any issues with them going to bed and getting up again and completely normal children. Never had the terrible twos or threes or fours. Not due to superior mothering skills but I do think that having lots of cuddles gave them the security they needed. Only my opinion but being held all the time never "spoilt" mine - did try infacol and worked a bit - but as I said - best solution was him angled upwards.
Buy a sling and your LO will feel much better. Please don't let him cry [:-(]
You are the parent so do what suits you. i know it is so difficult to do in the early stages when everything seems so scary but you will be fine.
Previous posters are correct in that you can't teach bad habits at such a young age and plus he might be in a lot of pain with reflux - if that's the case cuddling him upright will be soothing his symptoms.
I have an 8year old daughter and she suffered awful colic at 3-4 weeks. The best way to sooth her was to sleep on me with me propped up on pillows with tummy to tummy. Definitely lots of cuddles and just being with you is very relaxing for them and they definitely are more calm.
If you still are struggling , we ended up having to give in and get a dummy, the cherry teat ones not the flat teat. It most definitely helped to calm her down and relax and therefore letting the trapped wind come out!
Good luck .
DS was the same but he grew out of it in no time at all. Infacol helped, as did raising one end of the cot, but ultimately his tummy just needed to mature a bit. Although it felt like an eternity at the time, it can't have lasted more than a few weeks.
Thank you very much, dear ladies! Yes, in the end I took your advice and have been holding him almost all the time, even in sleep!
The poor little one, his screams in pain made me cry last night. We are going to try osteopath. It's expensive but if it could reduce the pain for him...
Infacol and Dentinox didn't work for him. And he hated Dentinox so much. The texture is so thick, I was also afraid it might choke him as he refused to swallow it.
My DS had very bad colic... The doctor told me research showed that cuddling was the one thing that helped a colicky baby....
I cuddled him when he cried, brought him into bed with me & gave him gripe water for the wind which helped lots-infacol & coleif didn't work. I also elevated his mattress which helped a little.
He is now 6 months & no bad habits have been formed. He can now burp himself, sleeps happily in his own cot in his own room.
It gets better, it really does
Cuddle for sure! The thing with 'bad habits' is that they are only bad if they don't suit you and your baby. You can always break a 'bad habit' with a bit of effort later on if necessary (and it may not be necessary - our DS recovered from terrible colic at 10 weeks and settled well at 7pm from then on - he did wake in the night after that, but that is another story!) and in the meantime you can give your LO what they need to settle and be calm, and you both get lots of love in those first weeks. This time will pass, and you'll never regret the time you spent holding and nurturing your newborn. My ds is now over 2 and sleeps very well after a pretty terrible first year of sleep. I can honestly say I don't regret those sleepless nights as he got what he needed when he was tiny - and he slept well eventually!
My ds had terrible colic too and could only sleep, as a couple of others have mentioned too, cuddled upright on me while I was propped up on pillows. I spent ages trying to wind him after each feed as infocol ect didn't seem to do anything. One thing which really did help was the tummy tub bath, he really relaxed in it which helped release the wind.
It is hard to ignore MWs sometimes because afterall she is the trained professional but in this instance her information isn't based on any fact and is just her opinion, so please feel free to ignore away.
My DS had very similar problems and was held. He is now 8 and is a bright, socialble and very confident child. He is not spoilt in the slightest. One thing he did have though was undiagnosed tongue tie so if you are Bfing, I would really recommend going along to your local Bfing Support Group to ask the BFC to check if he has TT.
If he is ff, have you tried changing his formula? Both of my DN seemed best suited to Hipp Organic, but that might just be coincidence.
One thing that works for lots of parents is sticking them in a sling and going out for a walk. The upright position seems to help them get the wind up. My DH would sometimes do this for me so that I could get a break and they could have an hour together.
Other things that worked for us were a bath, baby massage and no nappy time for a bit after a nappy change. If their nappy is off they can move around more and it helps them get it out. The best thing by far though is to hold your baby and comfort them. He relies on you for everything, including comfort when he's in pain.
Thought you might like this on comforting a gassy baby too.
You sound like a great Mum, and you've shown great sense in questioning this rather peculiar advice from your MW .
Thought you might like this too as it includes a bit on "I'm worried I might be spoiling my baby". Feel free to print it off and give that bit to your MW if you like .
If you are thinking of getting a sling some Children's Centres have them to borrow or try a slingmeet. Great for trying out different types and having a cuppa and a bit of adult conversation .
A 3 week old literally cannot form habits of any sort as their brain isn't making those sorts of memories yet. So cuddle away - your midwife is wrong, and it's the best thing for your baby's colic.
How are you getting on this evening who?
Completely agree with the other comments. My DS was the same at that age - needed to be held to get to sleep and really struggled with wind. He's 5 months now and we haven't had wind issues for quite a while. He also suddenly didn't want to be held to go to sleep and now much prefers to be put straight into cot or onto bed so he can stretch out comfortably. No need to worry!
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