Challenging toddler- what should we do?

[SuiGeneris]

DS (2y9m) has always been quite determined and strong-willed but over the past week his behaviour has deteriorated even more. Examples:
-he hurts his baby brother and then goes "DS1 hurt DS2", very matter-of-factly

• despite being potty trained (almost) he has started doing both wees and poos in his pants again and then asking for nappies. This morning it was all over our bed!
• no longer wants to go to nursery (this was after a 2-week break for half term, before then he loved it)
• throws stuff on the floor, disobeys, shouts etc...

Am normally very very patient but no longer and cannot work out there has been this change and how to deal with it.

[liveinazoo]

how old is the baby honey?

it tips a toddlers world upside down having to share you and he may well be attention seeking

rememeber to a child negative attention is still getting attention!

[SuiGeneris]

Baby is 7 months so has been around fora while..,

[manchestermummy]

If the baby's 7mo, your DS might have suddenly realised that he's here to stay. My DD1 was most challenging when her sister reached that sort of age. She was a bit older, but suddenly this other interloper was doing interesting stuff and getting rather a lot of attention. Could he be unwell? DD1 who is five goes off the rails when she's coming down with something.

One thing I would recommend is that if you're out and about, if someone asks how old etc., provide them with the information about your PFB, even if it's clearly the other they are talking about!

Are you in any position to do anything 'special' with your older DC and without the baby? Go for an ice cream, swim, anything that's a treat for just the two of you?

[SuiGeneris]

Manchestermummy: you might be right on both counts. He is definitely unwell (cough and looks ill, but won't let me go near him with a thermometer) and also jealous of DS2. Have tried reading to him, doing puzzles and playing on the computer together, but still very very grumpy...

[DoubleYew]

I've no experience but have heard its good to baby them on occasion if they ask for it, shows them you still love them too - I know that seems crazy to adults but who knows what memories they have of being looked after as a baby and feeling all safe.

I'd stick to your usual rules about behaviour in case he is pushing boundaries. Show him gentle ways to play with ds2? Is he getting mobile now and touching his toys, that could be a trigger.