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How independent are your 3 yrs old?

(9 Posts)
Goldchilled7up Fri 09-Nov-12 12:56:01

My 3.3 yrs old DS has just started pre-school, and as the teacher was showings us the toitets, she asked if he independent. When I said no, he needs someone to help him, she didn't frown, but I had a feeling that the answer wasn't what she expected.

He has been fully potty trained from 2, but I don't feel comfortable with him wipping his own bum and wee would be going everywhere.

While I was there, some of the children were going on their own, now I wonder if this is the norm at this stage and that I should stop helping him?

He also can't put his own coat on, some of the children there did.

ppeatfruit Fri 09-Nov-12 13:21:53

As an ex C.M., E.Y. teacher, nanny, M and GM I don't know any 3 yr. olds who go to the loo on their own esp. poos they ALL need a little help esp. with being clean. (bum wiping) grin

moleskin Fri 09-Nov-12 13:32:59

My dd is 3.2 and I go with her mainly to make sure she doesn't chuck toys in the toilet!!! She had a poo at nursery today and wasn't helped by anyone and didn't wipe her bum at all! She also can't put her coat in. Don't worry

amarylisnightandday Fri 09-Nov-12 13:34:50

Oh goodness - dd1 is 3.1 and not putty trained! She can sometimes put her coat on but not shoes. Ore schools have higher expectations of this stuff than nurseries though

ManifestingMingeHooHoosAgain Fri 09-Nov-12 13:36:39

DS is 3.11 and has been potty trained/toilet trained for over a year.

He still needs supervision because he will widdle everywhere and very often doesn't bother to wipe his bottom or flush blush

Goldchilled7up Fri 09-Nov-12 13:40:15

I feel more reassured now, thank you smile

amazingmumof6 Fri 09-Nov-12 13:46:08

he's normal. children develop differently, and the ones with older siblings do learn quicker. girls also tend to be quicker. some want to be independent, some like it done for them. also chubbier children find it harder as they simply can't reach their bottom! bless them...

it's just that there's a hands-off policy in most places as a result of child abuse/health & safety over-reaction..

At my sons playgroup kids start at 2 and staff are quite relaxed about toilet issues, (and of course change nappies and help the kids with wiping their bum or clean them if they soil themselves), but will require you to put sun cream on before start of session as the carers are not allowed/supposed to do so.
why can't they help? It's not practical, there's no time - that I'd accept, but hiding behind a blanket policy is just insulting my intelligence!
So I put it on at 8.15, but surely it rubs off by 11 am and needs re-applying?! how can you expect a 2-3-4 year old to do that safely? ridiculous! I still do it for all our kids, oldest is 11. they maybe capable, but I don't want them to rub it in their eyes.

she didn't frown, but made you feel uncomfortable, what a cow! does she have kids? take no crap from her, your boy is fine, and will catch up soon, no doubt! anyway he might prefer to do it himself than a stranger doing it for him...

best thing is to try to catch him up a bit. make him wipe his bum, he might get messy, but he'll learn to get better. make him put your coat on you to practice. or your socks. make it into a game, no dramas. you are doing a fine job, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.. Also I bet he's ahead in other things or he's better behaved, so don't worry!

oh and a friend was still dressing her five year old for school, and people were curious why. turned out she was so used to dressing him, it never even occurred to her to ask him to do it for himself... the next day she did ask. he managed it, of course!

Goldchilled7up Fri 09-Nov-12 14:02:25

Amazingmum thank, you made me feel better. I know what you mean about the policies, he was at a playgroup when 2 1/2 and I had to potty train him before, because they didn't allow them to go in in nappies hmm

amazingmumof6 Fri 09-Nov-12 14:11:20

"king of jungle only here to help!" quote from George of the jungle - have you seen it? kids love the humour, and there's eye candy for mums, yummy looking Brendan Fraser... 3, 2, 1 and back to Earth

where was I? yes, glad you feel better! now go watch that film, so funny!

just a thought, would life be much easier in the jungle? poop where you want, blame it on the gorilla! grin I'm in such a silly mood x

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