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Tell me what you do about a toddler constantly whinging

(14 Posts)
MontBlanc Thu 08-Nov-12 16:21:52

DS 22 months has just constantly whinged today.

I've set up loads of activities and spent lots of quality time with him today so it's definitely not from lack of attention. We did some baking, he whinged most the time, we did a music CD singing and playing instruments. He was happy some of the time but whinged on and off. I read to him for half an hour, he was fine some of the time but would whinge as soon as I stopped.

We don't often spend a whole day in, so maybe that was it but I don't want to HAVE to take him out to stop him whinging.

I've been doing magic 1,2,3 for discipline but that recomments ignoring tantrums. So what do you do about whinging? Ignore? Stop the activity and not carry on until he stops? I did put him on the naughty step at one point just to give me 2 mins out and take a breath which had some effect, but I'll end up putting him on the naughty step all day won't I and it will make him whinge more?

He has recently started whinging more and more. He is getting over a cold but he doesn't have a temperature or anything. Even if he is a bit under the weather, what should I do? Just give up and park him in front of the TV?

Urgh, at a bit of a loss. Any advice much appreciated.

Iggly Thu 08-Nov-12 18:02:23

Get out of the house more. He might still be under the weather anyway.

Also is he getting enough sleep? Might be overtired.

IWillOnlyEatBeans Thu 08-Nov-12 18:17:23

I say that I can only hear DS (2.8) if he talks to me in a normal voice rather than a whiney one. So I ask him to tell me whatever it is in his normal, big boy voice. If he doesn't I just carry on and ignore him.

I also tell him that only really, really tired boys are whingy, so if he carries on then I'll read him a story and pop him upstairs for a lovely nap. Seems to do the trick!

MontBlanc Thu 08-Nov-12 19:11:48

Iggly I think he was tired today because he only napped for half an hour but I couldn't settle him back to sleep and I couldn't put him down for another nap as he won't sleep tonight. So I've put him to bed early tonight, doesn't really help when he's tired all afternoon though.

That's good advice Iwillonly although he's not really talking so perhaps when he does the whining will stop a bit as he can actually communicate.

Thanks for the advice. Have just sat down and feel drained and exhausted from it all.

MrsCF Thu 08-Nov-12 21:37:18

I used to ask my DD where her happy voice was, and we would try to find it, try to make it as funny as possible, look for it or ask if daddy took it to work with him, if grandma borrowed it etc

ZombiesFumbleandStumble Thu 08-Nov-12 21:45:09

Iirc 1,2,3 magic has a chapter/bit on what to do about whining. (probably involves counting wink)

I just say to DD very calmly 'oh no I'm not listening to that, tell me nicely and we'll chat about it' and turn away. It works unless she's really tired.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Thu 08-Nov-12 22:04:19

22 months is still very young. Are all his teeth through? Sometimes they move for ages after they seem to be through and cause misery for al involved.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Fri 09-Nov-12 08:16:02

I just say "come and talk to me when you've stopped whinging" and ignore it. I actually prefer tantrums to whinging. At least it takes a bit of energy to tantrum whereas whinging just drains you.

I also find that the "Wow. You must be tired. maybe you need a nap" snaps him out of it pretty quickly

MrsHerculePoirot Fri 09-Nov-12 08:21:50

richmanpoorman are you me?!?!?

I also ignore as much as possible and say 'I can't understand unless you talk properly'.

But my best tactic is the 'oh you must be so tired to be behaving/whinging like that. Perhaps you should have a nap' Usually that stops her in her tracks!

Sometimes though a cbeebies break and snack help me through too!

ItLooksLikeRainDear Fri 09-Nov-12 09:07:41

Sounds like a tired boy to me. Also, is it possible that you tried to fit too many activities into the day? He could have been over stimulated and need a little quiet time/ time out. My DS 2.9 has quiet time in the afternoon when he has a tendency to be a little grumpy/tired. He will choose to do a quiet activity on his own... Stickers, read, watch tv for a while etc.

3littlefrogs Fri 09-Nov-12 09:16:17

He is very little.

He can't tell you how he feels, but it sounds as if he is tired, maybe not feeling well.

My tactic for grumbly days like this would be to try a walk outside to collect leaves/sticks/whatever, and if they didn't seem to be enjoying that, come back in for a cuddle in front of the TV with a drink and a biscuit.

Early night, then tomorrow is another day.

MontBlanc Fri 09-Nov-12 09:31:06

Thanks all, he slept 12 hours straight last night which is unheard of and seems in happier spirits today.

I feel better after a good night's sleep too! You've given me some good ideas on how to deal with it in future thank you.

Iggly Fri 09-Nov-12 09:35:57

I would try and up his sleep by early bedtime and longer naps. My ds was having 2 hours a day at that age and bed by half 6/7.

matana Fri 09-Nov-12 13:24:55

DS has just hit this phase. I just say "DS, you don't have to whinge. Use your words to tell me what you want." If he continues i ignore it, though yes it's bloody draining. DS is nearly 2 though so might have more words to express himself than yours does....

This morning DS whinged for food. It was before breakfast when we were on our way out the door (he eats breakfast at the CM) so i suggested he could have some raisins. He brightened up and agreed. So i gave him a few in a pot and he peered at them all crest fallen. There blatantly weren't enough for him, so he deliberately shook them all over the floor and began to tantrum. So i took them off him and didn't give them back.

He'll get the message eventually.

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