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Please help me, everyone in my house is crying or screaming

(5 Posts)
FrightRunScream Sun 04-Nov-12 18:01:45

DS is 4. He has his moments but is pretty much ok. He screams v loudly and v randomly, which is grating but would be ok if my body and soul was not shot to.pieces by DD. Oh, and he is a very fussy eater, but if he doesn't eat, he doesn't whine about being hungry later.

DD was 1 last month. She is very clingy. She has never settled for anyone else. She wails if I put her down. She screams if I leave the room. She cries if DH tries to comfort her. Thus has been going on for a year. I am going back to work in January and I am dreading her starting nursery.

DD is also a terrible sleeper. She sleeps about 8pm to 5am and that is all. She will not sleep in the day, despite many offers and oppurtunites. I don't think she sleeps enough, but I don't know how to get her to sleep more. When DS is not at nursery, it is hard to find any quiet time. Oh, and she'll.usually wake up two or three times in the night. I'll let her cry for 5 mins before I go to her. About half the time she settles again.

At the moment DD is also refusing to eat anything other than what she can do with a fork. No spoon feeding,, no finger foods
She is not very good with a fork, so she ends up hawrdly eating at all and screaming with hunger. I end up giving her milk (she is not bf and had not been since she wad 2 weeks old) to fill her up, but surely at 1 she should be having mostly proper food.

FrightRunScream Sun 04-Nov-12 18:17:28

Posted too soon.

Anyway, DD is waking up crying at night, because she is hungry because she won't let me feed her, or feed herself very efficiently.

She wails and puts her arms up saying "mamama" if I try and leave the room or anything.

I have just burst into tears giving the DC their tea becausec she was refusing toeat, so I know what the night has in store.
DH told me to go upstairs and I can hear him getting more and more short tempered with the DC.

For the last couple of weeks we have been trying to get DD used to the idea that other people will look after her, that DH is Daddy and he loves her too etc.

I just don't know what to do any more. I am desperate for more than a few hours sleep. I am worn to pieces with DD's clinginess. I long for a bit of peace and quiet, but everyone is always shouting, or screaming or crying. I can hear DD wailing now and I could so easily walk outside and drive away. My mum and PILs all live over 200 miles away (dad died years ago), DH is out of the house 7am-7pm (not ideal, but he was made redundant last year) and all my frienda locally work full timw. I feel like I have totally lost control and hate looking after i my DC. I've taken 3 months unpaid ml and am wondering why?

lizandlulu Sun 04-Nov-12 21:21:40

Oh no, you sound worn out sad

I don't have any really helpful advice, I don't know what to say, but you have my sympathy. My dd1 was a lot like your dd. nursery did a lot for her clingy ness, she cried every day for a year when I dropped her off, but they get used to it. If you let the nursery workers know how clingy she is and what ŷou expect will happen in the first few days, they can be prepared for it and handle it.

Does your ds behave ok ith your dH?

Would you try giving her water in the night? I didn't have the heart to do it ith my dd 1 and she woke in the night for a bottle till she was about 2 and a half, but looking back, I should have tried nd stuck ith it.

I hope someone comes along soon with some words of wisdom for you.

Big hugs

McGill Sun 04-Nov-12 21:31:40

Oh love....that's tough. I'm not really sure what I can say to help, but recognised the desperation in your post, as I have felt that way many times -I'm sure most mums have had several instances of dreaming about just walking out the door and going to the nearest airport with a one-way ticket.

Anyhow-I had a mega clingy first baby and found it incredibly frustrating and exhausting. Gradually it improved and by 2 it was certainly easier, although he remains a rather shy wee boy at times (he's now 5). He had to go to nursery at 5 months, and then changed nursery at 1. He cried every time I dropped him off until he was 2(!!!!!) but according to the nursery nurses he settled within 5 mins every time- I expect you will find it hard, and she will be upset, but hopefully nursery will be a very big help in making her less intensely needy of only you-I found I gave in really quickly to my needy teary baby as I couldn't stand hearing him cry more than he needed to, but nursery was a god send in a way-as there is no 'giving in'-you just walk in, hand over and leave -sometimes baptisms of fire are good for both of you I think.

In terms of food....does she snack during day? If so, I probably would have no guilt about letting her graze on rice cakes, fruit, cereal bars, yoghurt, crisps....whatever she's into and letting that fill her up, as eventually she'll sit down to a big meal (at least by 18...;-)

Anyhow whatever is going on during the 'dark shitty days' when all you want to do is lock yourself in your room and shut off the rest of the world, repeat the mantra ' it's a phase...this too shall pass' over and over (whilst clutching a large glass of wine) and know that is does get hugely better, and pretty quickly...it's just bloody knackering and frustrating when you're right in the middle of it.

X

Gumby Sun 04-Nov-12 21:34:12

Could you co sleep so you & dd get some more sleep?

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