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Cocky at 20 months. Help!

(15 Posts)
BabydollsMum Fri 02-Nov-12 22:03:32

DD's generally a lovely, happy little soul but she's suddenly become a proper little bossy boots and it's really taken me aback. For example, this morning: "Out of the bed, Mummy. Downstairs!" (rips covers off me) or she'll order me to "open the gate, OPEN THE GATE!!!" (stairgate) or "stay there, Mummy. I do it". Hmmm. She's one of those kids that has lots of adult attention. We're quite sociable people so there's always guests to show off in front of. Plus she doesn't go to nursery yet, only playgroups so I'm keeping an eye on whether she grasps the concept of sharing yet. To be fair she's in no way aggressive to the other kids, if anything it's the other way round. We do keep reinforcing 'say please', and she will say it but I think she's had a massive spurt in her speech and that's given her a very sudden, new-found confidence or rather cockiness and it's a bit of a shock, frankly. shock Have I bred a monster?

PseudoBadger Fri 02-Nov-12 22:44:42

DS (just 21 months) is similar. We are thinking of it as an amusing developmental stage. For now...

noseynoonoo Sat 03-Nov-12 00:16:47

It's not cocky. She doesn't understand the niceties and etiquette yet - and she still believes the world revolves around and for her.

ZuleikaD Sat 03-Nov-12 06:01:44

She's not cocky or overconfident, she's a normal toddler - and she'll be a rare 20 month old if she understands sharing. Just teach her some slightly more polite phrases (and that you don't like having the covers ripped off!) and she'll be fine.

PseudoBadger Sat 03-Nov-12 06:29:40

Oh and I agree it's absolutely not cockiness

FeersumEndjinn Sat 03-Nov-12 06:40:42

Yes completely normal I'm afraid. You need to demonstrate that you are in charge and that she only gets what she wants if she asks politely - this will sometimes involve you refusing to do something you were going to do anyway, and it will take months and months. But don't label her as cocky, it's a normal part of development to believe the world and everyone in it is there entirely for her benefit.

Sirzy Sat 03-Nov-12 06:47:24

You can't really expect such a young child to understand adult standards of politeness and manners.

She knows what she wants so she demands it. Perfectly normal, I don't think it's possible for a baby to be cocky!

mamij Sat 03-Nov-12 06:50:28

DD1 was exactly like that (and still is at 3!) and it's normal I'm afraid! Better to be able to use words to express herself than otherwise! Sharing will come with age - DD1 can share but is still not good atit!

CecilyP Sat 03-Nov-12 11:01:57

What is she supposed to say? 'Mummy, if you are not too tired, do you think you could possibly get up and come downsatirs to play with me?'?

ZuleikaD Sat 03-Nov-12 14:56:27

There is middle ground - she could say 'Mummy, is it time to get up yet?'

Mintyy Sat 03-Nov-12 14:58:49

Cocky? At 20 months? Don't be ridiculous.

hackneybird Mon 05-Nov-12 15:09:48

This happened with my little one (he is three now). He was s bossy, then I realised that he was talking to DH and I in the way that we talk to him smile. SO I try and be a bit more reasonable with him and save the bossiness for when he's being naughty or stubborn.

And yes, it's unrealistic to expect them to have good manners at such a young age - I know soe fully grown adults whose manners aren't great!

diyqueen Mon 05-Nov-12 20:16:11

Wow, just be pleased she's such a good talker! My 19mo dd still communicates with a limited range of single words and frustrated grunts and shrieks, I think you're expecting a lot of a very small person, she's just saying what she's thinking!

oaks2012 Tue 06-Nov-12 23:00:37

Its not cocky.. Its cute!!

My DS is the same, but more caveman like in the way he speaks (hes a boy remember!)

Its lovely they can now express what they want, and that they want you to do something.. I think its lovely and not cocky at all!!

Alexan121 Sun 11-Nov-12 17:31:42

My 2 year old often says "Stop being stupid" to things I say to him. Gets it off my sister.

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