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Can your 6 year old reflect on their behaviour?

(10 Posts)
shoppingbagsundereyes Fri 02-Nov-12 06:39:47

Ds has a diagnosis of aspergers traits. He seems either incapable or unwilling to reflect on anything. So for example if he's been in trouble at school he can't look back over why he did what he did or what he could have done differently. He struggles with looking over positive things too. As with lots of things though I'm never sure if it's just normal for his age and he hasn't reached that stage of development yet iyswim or if it's an ASD thing.

gorionine Fri 02-Nov-12 07:02:59

DD4 is 6, she most of the time can reflect on her actions if prompted a bit "how did you think about doing this", "did it make you feel better?" "How do you think it made X,Y,Z feel?"... but not independently IYSWIM unless she is the "injured" party.

Skimty Fri 02-Nov-12 07:55:15

Yes, he can and often better than DH e.g. Sorry I'm being naughty I think I'm overexcited about xyz BUT this is what I call his 'talent' because he seems to be very good at it.

shoppingbagsundereyes Fri 02-Nov-12 12:57:47

When I prompt ds he just says 'I don't know'. It's hard to tell whether he genuinely doesn't know or just doesn't want to discuss it. If I say 'I think maybe you are really tired' he will agree but I suspect I could substitute it for something bonkers like 'it's probably because you had altitude sickness' and he would agree so that I would drop the subject.

colditz Fri 02-Nov-12 13:01:17

A bit. I can ask him, once he has calmed down, why he eg hit his brother, and he can tell me it was because his brother had pushed him. He can also tell me what he should have done instead - tell me - but this abili of reflection is often not enough to stop him doing the same thing two hours later

TheEnthusiasticTroll Fri 02-Nov-12 13:02:33

My 6 year old can when prompted, however she tends to see the injustice in how things affect her rather than anyone else.

colditz Fri 02-Nov-12 13:04:40

Shoppingbags, ds1 answers all 'Why did y do that?' Questions in the same Shuttup Mummy way.

He will say he doesn't know, just to avoid having a conversations. In fact, he will tell me he doesn't know what he had for lunch, then when I say I am not cooking dinner until I know what lunch was, he will give me the full menu list immediately! And when he's done something wrong, and I ask him what he should have done, he often can't answer me, and says "I shouldn't have done the wrong thing" (and I can tell by his face he's thinking "oh god, shut up, mother, it's done, why are we still talking")

colditz Fri 02-Nov-12 13:04:58

Should add, ds1 is nine and has asd

shoppingbagsundereyes Fri 02-Nov-12 16:29:14

Thanks for all replies. We also get 'I don't know' about what he had for lunch too. I make him say 'I can't remember' as the I don't know drives me bonkers. I guess ds can reflect in a factual way so he can tell me exactly what led up to something, he just won't discuss the feelings side of it.

Ineedalife Fri 02-Nov-12 16:41:07

Hi shopping, we had a talk about comic strip conversations at the support group i go to the other day. I think these would be a great way to introduce reflexion.

You can find out a bit on google but the lady who talked to us recommended using individual squares of paper for each bit of the conversation/story and then if it gets muddled it can be rearranged without spoiling the paper.

I am going to try it with Dd3 who is 10 and has ASD.

Good lucksmile

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