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Its been a tough half term... help!

(6 Posts)
noseynoonoo Thu 01-Nov-12 23:47:26

The lead up to half term was pretty rough. DS, only just 4 and just started Reception, was experiencing some physical bullying at school. Nothing done about it because it happened at lunchtime when supervision seems to be minimal. Then DS hit one person once and got into big trouble.

During half term I thought that he needed to have a calm week but he has tended to mostly hit me and his older sister, tell me I am rude, horrible, nasty, ruining his life etc. We haven't really been out much because when I tried on Monday and Tuesday his behaviour was incredibly difficult - this is impacting on his sister.

A friend came round today. He was so angry that I was talking to her that he hit me, screamed etc. She made quite a hasty exit.

I am full of cold and am having the period from hell so to be fair I am not being supermum anyway and sometimes I'm shouting back at him.

I can't see how to help him. He is so angry - but then he has lovely moments when he tells me he loves me and comes for a (very quick) cuddle.

Can anyone shed some light on what I could do - without it having yet another negative impact on his sister, who is now starting to lose her rag too.

MrsCantSayAnything Fri 02-Nov-12 08:39:28

Have you made an appointment to speak to his teacher? That would be the best move I think....then she can give you a clear idea of whats going on.

noseynoonoo Fri 02-Nov-12 08:49:26

I did that. It wasn't very productive. I had really rated her but because bullying happens at lunchtime (when she is in staff room) it is not on her radar. She did call me in when he hit someone in class and when I commented that I was upset that now he is being violent she said that she must witness 20 physical spats a day involving different children - so I had to question why only I had been called in.

I do feel that aggression has become an issue at school but they are not prepared to have a grown up discussion about it, it's more like -'you say your son is being hit but hey, he on one occassion hit one boy which means you and your son must be wrong'.

I'm hoping for a better day today - fingers crossed.

Goldmandra Fri 02-Nov-12 18:39:43

It is very likely that your son's behaviour is a reaction to how he is being treated at school.

You need to make a much bigger fuss about this bullying. If the teacher doesn't feel it is her job to deal with it make an appointment to see the head teacher. it sure as hell is his/her job!

it is totally unacceptable to allow your son to be bullied in any part of the school at any time of the day. Ask for a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy. It will probably say this.

Go through the policy and highlight every bit they have not followed. Take it to the head and ask them to make sure the matter is addressed swiftly and effectively. Make a follow-up appointment so they can tell you what has been done.

IMO it is not acceptable that the reception children are engaging in up to 20 episodes of physical aggression a day. The HT should also be addressing this.

noseynoonoo Sat 03-Nov-12 00:15:03

DH has had a full and frank email discussion with the Head today re lunchtime issues.

I'm not sure what to do about how it has impacted on my son though. To be fair he has been lovely today - full of cuddles, and kisses... and licks!?

Goldmandra Sat 03-Nov-12 09:46:27

I'm glad to hear you've drawn your concerns to the attention of the HT. DO you feel reassured that they will deal with matters more effectively now?

I imagine your son is only going to feel better once he's gone back into school and experienced a few bullying-free lunchtimes. Perhaps once he realises that the problem has gone away he'll feel safer and more relaxed.

Give him lots of kisses and cuddles and try to keep home life as routine and relaxed as possible. Be ready for Sunday night to be difficult if he's going back on Monday.

My DD2 used to lick people at that age too. I hated it. Ugh!

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