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22 month old keeps pushing other toddlers. Help!

(3 Posts)
isthatstrange Tue 30-Oct-12 19:47:03

My friend is having a stressful time recently so i have been having her dd 3 mornings a week to give her a break. She is a lovely girl, but she keeps pushing other toddlers. There is no trigger for this - they have not necessarily done anything to upset her, she just gets a cross look on her face then pushes them. I think it may be attention seeking as she usually looks at me when she is doing it. I cannot ignore this. I bend down and say calmly to stop, we don't push then make her say sorry which she does. However, this behaviour occurs again and again. Any advice would be hugely appreciated.

peppajay Tue 30-Oct-12 20:27:48

My son has been a hair puller, a pusher, a shover and a total nightmare around other kids as long as I can remember. Otherwise he is such a complaint very well behaved child with no other issues. I have tried everything but nothing works he is now 4 and knows it is wrong but still does it. Like your friends DD there is no trigger his hands just come out when there are other children about, there is no anger or malice in him what so ever when he does it, in fact sometimes he doesn't know he has done it!! I am at the end of the tether of what to do, he has just started school and there have been a few incidents but school don't seem too worried they say he doesnt like the unstimulated times of the day (ie playtimes!!) and they think he just finds the amount of children and lack of structure hard to deal with.

However I was told from about a yr old 'don't worry about, it he will grow out of it' but 3 yrs on and he still does it. He is punished every time but honestly doesnt bother him because he doesn't mind leave parties, soft play places or parks because I think he just likes his own space and doesn't like being around other children. Also no one has ever hit him/pushed him back and I just hope one of these days someone does and then maybe he will get a dose of his own medicine!! I do feel for your friend it is so hard, I used to avoid toddler groups and places with other children when my DS was a toddler but what worked for me was signing him up for structured groups ie swimming/music/ art groups where he was stimulated all the time and there was no sign of him ever pushing/shoving etc because he was always busy with his hands.

So all I can suggest is maybe take her to structured activities and avoid the free play sessions because maybe like my DS she just doesnt like being around other children, although at 22 months she is still quite young!!

NellyTheElephant Thu 01-Nov-12 16:54:51

My DS was like that at that age, it was an absolute nightmare, I had to watch him like a hawk all the time and basically found play dates or gong to toddler groups almost impossible. I was firm and removed him from the situation with a firm 'No, we don't push'. It didn't seem to do much good though as this went on for 6 - 9 months. It was a phase and it stopped. He is now 3 and a half and those days seem a million miles away, he is a v sociable little boy. Keep being firm as you are (and make sure your friend is too), remove her from the situation, don't over react as that gives the attention she is looking for - give attention to the one who is pushed and withdraw attention from her. She will grow out of it.

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