School parents evening - comments on behaviour. Opinions and advice wanted.

[DueInSeptember]

My daughter will be 4 in a month and she started school (reception) at the start of September.

Went to the school parents evening and the teacher was happy with her academic progress. They did however comment that she was 'a busy bee' and that she was easily distracted especially when the class was having a story on the mat.

I remember taking her to playgroups and she would not really want to sit down at song/ story time. If another child went off to play she would follow and then I would try and get her back down to sit/ listen.

I'm worried now that she may be a pain in the bum to teach and that she may be distracting others. Is this fairly normal behaviour for a child this age in school? I don't think she has a deep rooted problem (like adhd or other issues that will cause concentration lapses) just that she is pretty busy especially where there are other children about.

How can I improve her behaviour like this at home? She is good in a lot of ways, fairly sensible and will listen on roads/ dangerous places. I can trust her to behave at home in that she will not do anything dangerous/ destructive, but I can see how she can be busy. Help!

[exoticfruits]

Do you read books together at home? Is she used to sitting and concentrating-playing games, doing jigsaws etc?

[horsebiscuit]

Is she really 3 or do you mean she'll be 5 in a month?

[DueInSeptember]

Thanks, yes she loves books and being read to. She is great at doing jigsaws and we play games like dominos and other card based games.

She does get toys out and then leaves them pretty quickly to move on to something else and she does not like to sit down to eat so I can see how she can lose concentation easily.

[DueInSeptember]

Horsebiscuit, she is 3yrs and 11mths. Here (Wales) we start reception earlier than in England.

[exoticfruits]

I would say that she was very normal-it is very young to expect more.

[DueInSeptember]

Thanks exotic, I thought she was fairly normal too - at least when I compare her to other children of a similar age. Then I worry that she must be bad for the teacher to comment.

[LadyWidmerpool]

Maybe the teacher felt she should identify areas for improvement and that's all she could come up with!

[PandaG]

sounds quite normal to me for a child of that age (I work with 3 and 4 yr olds) but sitting for story time and circle time is one of the skills we work on at that age.

[DueInSeptember]

Thank you, glad to hear she sounds normal. Is there anything I can do to help her? Or is it something that will just improve with age?

I guess it's difficult to recreate that sort of situation at home. I don't want her to be the naughty one in school.

[PandaG]

try and extend her concentration a bit, I agree you can't replicate carpet time at home. Perhaps try to read to her for longer periods, maybe a longer book rather than a short picture book.

I would also encourage her to sit to eat, perhaps try to encourage conversation round the meal table, particularly if you have a friend or family round. LIstening to each other and joining in would be a bit like circle time.

[DueInSeptember]

Thanks Panda, will try that.

Oh, just thought of something else that she does. The teacher did not say anything about this though. She often comes home and says things like 'Emma is not my friend today'. I ask what happened and I don't really get any sensible response. I just say that she needs to be friends with everyone. Is that normal too?

[PandaG]

completely, utterly, and very irritatingly normal! Children of that age often fall in and out of friendship for no obvious reason...might just be that A wanted to go outside and B didn't, so A says 'you're not my friend any more'.

I would keep note if it is the same name name coming up, in case there is an underlying reason

[DueInSeptember]

Oh good! Thanks. I didn't want her to be a difficult/ unfriendly child but she seems ok with kids when I observe her. Different name each time.

[horsebiscuit]

Gosh, everything you describe sounds normal for that age! Definitely no worries at all! You'll find she'll change a lot in the next year... Or at least, my DD certainly did.

[Tiggles]

DS3 is 4 and he sounds fairly similar, but he doesn't start school until next September. He is happy to snuggle up with a story with me, but not sure he would sit still in a group situation. However I haven't been to his parent's evening yet, so I could be wrong, he could be being completely different in the school nursery to home but I doubt it.

(Where in Wales are you that they start so early?? i've lived in NE and SE and they would have been in nursery at that age).

DS3 is always very keen to tell me who he doesn't like, rather than who is actually friends with.

[DueInSeptember]

Little missgreen, we're in the South.

Thanks all.